1. Assume the rejection is a complete mistake. Several quick phone calls/voicemails, texts, and follow-up emails should clear-up the misunderstanding.
2. A sudden rush of rejection-rage: “The audacity, the empty-headed arrogance.” This feeling inspires several clever revenge plot lines, two of which you jot down for that Misfit Detective TV Pilot you’ve been developing.
3. It’s make-over time. You’re going to surprise that decision-maker at their office with a hip new look and attitude, plus the biggest box of Krispy Cream donuts $14 can buy and a carefully rehearsed new pitch which includes the changes you’re certain they want. Plan B: Sell your soul to Satan in exchange for a do-over… and tighter abs.
4. Chased by a team of security guards on bicycles into Runyon Canyon, you wind-up sharing the donuts with an all-knowing coyote and also that barefoot guy who lives there who talks into his hand like it’s a cellphone and claims to be one of Spielberg’s top producers. Your manager calls and fires you and while you’re on the phone you bump into your ex who’s now dating that actor you despise.
5. You discover that crying while throwing-up in public in the mid-afternoon is a remarkably freeing experience. It’s only one little rejection after all. Someday, when you’re on stage, under the spotlight, receiving your Academy Award for Best Screenplay, you’ll thank that decision-maker, who’s obviously now living in his parents’ basement, for making you even more determined to succeed.
Our guest blogger, Bradford Richardson, specializes in writing coming-of-age comedy — comical stories about everyday, awkward guys who find themselves in larger-than-life situations where achieving the goal requires them to finally grow up, and take charge of their own fates. The Black List just rated his “Out of the Bottle” comedy spec, Walter Crisp’s Almost Perfect Moment, an 8. The average Black List rating is 6.3. He wouldn’t even think of starting a new script without “Beating It Out.”