The Final Save the Cat! Logline Challenge of 2009!
Run — don’t walk — to your keyboards and enter the final Save the Cat!® Logline Contest of 2009!
Let’s end this year with a big meow!
All of you Cats are invited to join STC!’s final contest for the year. To enter, use the STC! rules of a well-written logline to rework the logline of a well-known movie and turn it into a Holiday classic.
Examples:
Now that summer’s over, Sheriff Brody must play Santa Claus to bring in those holiday dollars, but he must first capture and train a man-eating great white shark to pull his water sleigh. (Santa Jaws)
Or:
Chucky learns the true meaning of love and forgiveness when he finds himself in the Land of Misfit Toys. (Child’s Play)
Or even:
I’ll Be Back for Christmas
The Cyborg returns from the future when a paranoid Sarah Connor kills Santa Claus by mistake when he asks John to sit on his lap, turning the future into a Humbug world.
It’s that simple!
Keep your loglines short — try for no longer than two lines. The original movie must be universally recognized, and the rewritten movie must be clearly made for a Holiday release. Contestants may place multiple entries, but each entry must be separate. No grouped entries, please. Please include the title of your “remake.” You may alter the original title if you wish, as long as we can determine the original source (see Santa Jaws).
Deadline for the contest is December 19, 2009, Midnight PST. Winners will be announced on the Save the Cat! blog site December 21.
Our First Place Cat will win a Save the Cat! iPhone®/iPod Touch® App, Save the Cat! Story Structure Software, a copy of Blake’s latest book (Save the Cat! Strikes Back - More Trouble for Screenwriters to Get Into…and Out Of), and a complimentary slot in an upcoming Beat Sheet Workshop in Los Angeles!*
Second prize is a a Save the Cat! iPhone/iPod Touch App, Save the Cat! Story Structure Software, a copy of Blake’s latest book (Save the Cat! Strikes Back - More Trouble for Screenwriters to Get Into…and Out Of), and a free email consultation with Jose Silerio, evaluating the title, logline, and 15 beats of a project of your choice! Our Third Place Cat will receive a stocking full of Save the Cat! swag, five honorable mentions will receive Book Three, and all participants will once again enjoy the camaraderie and support found only in the Save the Cat! community of writers!
So get your paws — and your brains — a flexin’, and post your entries in the comment section of this blog!!!
Good Luck, Happy Holidays, and Happy Writing!!!
*transportation and accommodations not included
on November 30th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Paranormal Holiday: After moving into a suburban home, a loving couple becomes increasingly disturbed by a nightly jolly presence and it’s noisy reindeer.
on November 30th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Rebel Without A Claus
A rebellious young man gets into trouble when a dangerous game goes tragically wrong and he kills the man who played Santa in the mall. This year, Santa is not coming to town.
on November 30th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Paranormal Holiday:
After moving into a suburban home, a loving couple becomes increasingly disturbed by a nightly jolly presence and it’s noisy reindeer. (Paranormal Activity)
on November 30th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Holiday Blonde - Newly-minted law grad Elle Woods must defend Santa Claus from a shifty lawyer trying to turn the Clauses’ marital problems into the divorce of the century.
on November 30th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
When Leatherface is visited by the ghost of Chrismahanukwanzaakah, he renounces his cannibalistic ways and spends the rest of his life teaching Texas children how to make bracelets out of bathtub drain hair.
on November 30th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Neo and Agent Smith join forces to save the North Pole from the ravages of a global heat wave after The Architect reboots the Matrix without making sure the surge protector was in place.
on November 30th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
It’s winter in Nazi-occupied France and a ragtag group of Jewish-American soldiers is tasked with roaming the countryside educating the Third Reich on the many traditions of Hanukkah.
on November 30th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
North by North Pole
An unwitting Shreveport Jamba Juice cashier is mistaken for a giant 450lb./year old Elf by a group of atheists, and is chased to Alaska where he’s hunted by helicopter, shot, and forced to provide his birth certificate in order to save Christmas. And a leg.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Kung-Fu Christmas
Steven Chow must fight off a gang of angry, ax-weilding, elves in order to discover the long forgoten, “Santa Palm,” technique and take his favorite girl to Lollypop Land.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
The Bourne Identity Krisis
Matt Damon wakes up afloat on the ocean, and knows for sure he must have fallen from his sleigh full of reindeer. He’ll follow the clues to uncover a CIA plot to end Christmas as we know it.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Good Wishlist Hunting
Only a lost boy from Southie can do the triangulation neccessary to figure out where Santa dropped the world’s wishlist.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Anger Management
After listening to some self-help tapes, Rudolf’s nose doesn’t glow so bright. So, Santa enlists the help of Jack Nickleson to teach him that anger, used right, can be a good thing to light your way.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
A League of Their Own
When Santa is kidnapped by the evil Dr. Hershey, the enraged elves will band together to cross a trecherous league of Candy Land traps to save him.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Mr. & Mrs. Claus: The bored Christmas couple find an unexpected holiday surprise when their secret regular job as competing assassins assigns them to kill each other.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
This Santa Wears Prada
With 364 days of downtime, Santa turns to the Home Shopping Network and begins to loose his way.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Santa’s Eleven
Santa, and crack team of ten elves team up to rob 3 Casinos and fund another year of gift giving.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Santa Begins
His parents killed, a young Santa wonders the world, getting into fist fights. Until he’s taken in by a gang of ninja who teach him to kick butt… and fly with reindeer (Batman Begins).
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Saved Christmas
After learning the real Santa Claus has been kidnapped, Austin must defeat Dr. Evil and his army of department-store Santas to save Christmas.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
(resubmitted with title)
Christmas Reboot - Neo and Agent Smith join forces to save the North Pole from the ravages of a global heat wave after The Architect reboots the Matrix without making sure the surge protector was operational.
on November 30th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
(resubmitted with title)
Texas Chainsaw Christmas - When Leatherface is visited by the ghost of Chrismahanukwanzaakah, he renounces his cannibalistic ways and spends the rest of his life teaching Texas children how to make bracelets out of bathtub drain hair.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Die Hard X - Christmas Chaos
After taking a holiday gig as a department store Santa, washed-up former cop John McClane risks his life and dignity to save the Black Friday shoppers from a gang of terrorist elves.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
On the verge of losing his job, a curmudgeonly Santa Claus enters the Miss Role Model Pageant; but when a vain drama queen (Lindsey Lohan) becomes the front-runner, the not-so-jolly old elf must recapture his Christmas Spirit and the hearts of children everywhere before they all end up on the “naughty” list. (Kris Congeniality)
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Reindeer on a Plane - Rudolph and friends hitch a ride on a passing 747 when the overloaded sleigh blows a runner.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Reindeer Day - Santa wakes up in a Punxatawny B&B with Rudolph in bed beside him… again, and again, and again…
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
The Silence of the Hams - Clarice Starling ruins the holidays when she serves her new Jewish in-laws, the Lecters, a honey-baked spiral cut ham.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Arctic Ocean’s Eleven
After a ruthless gang of polar bears raid Santa’s workshop, Santa enlists Rudolph, Frosty, The Little Drummer Boy, Heat Miser, Snow Miser, Buddy the Elf, a narwhal, a penguin, Jesus Christ and a Chinese acrobat to steal the toys back from the bears impregnable fortress.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
The Grinch 2: Who-Ville Under Siege
After every Who is kidnapped at the Christmas day feast, Mayor Grinch discovers his long-lost father is transforming Who-ville into a terribly twisted toy factory.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Holiday Basterds
A misfit elf leads his team on a holiday raid against Santa in an attempt to overthrow the fascist Claus regime and free his Elvin brethren
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Batman 22: Christmas in Gotham
When retired Bruce Wayne sees a young Batman in Christmas commercials, he must combat elderly enemies and senility to foil a plot against something he can’t quite remember.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Menorah-ious Basterds
It’s winter in Nazi-occupied France and a ragtag group of Jewish-American soldiers is tasked with roaming the countryside educating the Third Reich on the many traditions of Hanukkah
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
It’s a Wonderful Lie - Santa explains how he got lipstick on his collar when he was supposed to be delivering presents.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Tight Spot (1955) – The Santa Spot
After witnessing a mob hit, Santa must evade overzealous hitmen and testify before a grand jury or risk incarceration and ruin Christmas.
on November 30th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Santa Gary Santa Ross
Santa must find a way to make at least one major Holiday sale at North Pole Realtors, or risk losing his company to his nephew.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Run Fatboy Run - Santa has to hoof the presents around the world when his sleigh is repo’d by the bank for non-payment.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Young Frankenclaus - after Rudolph’s untimely demise, Dr. Frankenclaus cobbles together a new sleigh leader from slaughterhouse byproducts but things go awry when he learns that the brain he used didn’t come from a ungulate but from a clumsy nightwatchman with a fear of heights.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Santabusters - a team of bah-humbuggers sets out to prove that yes, Virginia, there is NO SANTA CLAUS.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
No Country for Old Elves - When 75-year-old Will Ferrell stumbles on a snowy crime scene, a sleigh loaded with Xboxes and two million bags of Oreos, his decision to take the games and cookies sets of an unstoppable chain reaction of violence.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Raiders of the Lost Sleigh - Indiana Claus fights off Nazi elves to keep the the mysterious “list” from falling into the hands of the ne’er-do-wells who would use the “list” for their own nefarious purposes.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
The Polar Empress
After his magical North Pole train derails, a young boy discovers that oil drilling by a batty Alaska ex-governor could destroy Santa Town forever.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
The North Pole Job - Santa and his henchmen try to steal back the presents that were taken from them when their sleigh was hijacked as they left Toys R Us.
on November 30th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Liar Liar - Santa confronts little Johnny about his fibs.
on November 30th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Santock- Santa is an alcoholic who has lost his memory while Mrs Clause has left him and married a new husband. Will he get Mrs. Clause back? Or just befriend she and her new husband while he carries on taking care of Christmas.
on November 30th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Iron Santa
Kidnapped by a group of rebel elves, Santa’s forced to build a doomsday missile, but makes an unstoppable sleigh of iron reindeer instead.
on November 30th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
The Escape Clause
Driven mad by children’s endless Christmas demands, Santa Claus begins a desperate search for an perilously accident-prone fool who can end his suffering forever.
on November 30th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Christmas Now:
During an on-going winter, Captain Taylor is sent on a dangerous mission into the North Pole to retrieve a renegade soldier who has set himself up as Santa Claus among a local elf tribe. (Apocalypse Now)
on November 30th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
MCSCROOGED! in 4D. An aged, grumpy screenwriting instructor is visited by a series of ghosts on Christmas Eve: The Ghost of Expository Flashbacks, The Ghost of Voice Overs Present, and The Ghost of On the Nose Dialogue Future. Letters of Transit not included. Based on the graphic novel by Charles Dickens.
on November 30th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
BROKEBACK REINDEER. A raw, powerful story of two young reindeer — Rudolph and Blitzen — on a North Pole ranch who meet in the summer of 1963 in the cold snow and form a warm, yet unorthodox life-long bond–by turns ecstatic, bitter and conflicted. For future reindeer recruits Santa adopts a “you better not ask, you better not tell” policy.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
The Nightmare After Christmas
Determined to return dozens of unwanted holiday gifts, a hapless father drags his hyperactive triplets to the mall for a day of escalating retail trauma.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
CLAUSABLANCA
From his African nightclub, a bitter department store Santa risks his life to save a former lover and her Easter Bunny beau from an murderous syndicate out to end the celebration of every holiday.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
X-MAS: THE LAST STAND. Mutant reindeer run amok at the North Pole. Professor Claus is mankind’s final hope for Christmas to survive. December 25th opening. Variety reports Rudolph has points of the gross.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
The Devil Wears Prancer:
Santa turns to editor’s assistant Andy Sachs when his beloved reindeer are stolen by a rising star in the fashion world, with plans to make magical flying shoes from their hide. Now Andy must convince her boss Miranda Priestly to expose the designer’s intentions and save the reindeer before Christmas is ruined.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Gone with the Reindeers:
When the Reindeers go on strike, Santa must enlist the help of Rhett Butler and a group of confederate soldiers to fill in and pull the sleigh or risk the south losing Christmas.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Maniac on 34th Street
When a nice old man who claims to be Santa Claus is institutionalized as insane, he hatches a plot to unleash his bloodthirsty cellmates upon the merrymaking public.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
MEET THE FLOCKERS
A male nurse fights to win the approval of his Jewish fiance’s family and survive the weekend from hell when everyone meets his holiday obsessed parents who flock Christmas trees for a living.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
BELLBOY
A musical elf and his band of polar pixies battle an evil toymaker and his chest of deadly playthings bent on destroying every child in the world on Christmas morning.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
JEZEBELL
A free-spirited Christmas fairy exiled to antebellum New Orleans fights a plague and a war to win the lost love of a Creole gnome.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Lord of the Reindeershoe: The Return to Rudolph
When Frodo finds a reindeershoe, his obsession leads him on a perilous journey to the North Pole to prove the existence of Rudolph the red-nose reindeer.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
The Night of the Giving Elves
Five explorers stranded at the North Pole fight to survive Christmas Eve when not-so-jolly Undead Elves terrorize them with the gift that keeps on giving the undying thirst for holiday merriment and brains.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
THE CANE MUTINY
To save Christmas, a candy maker apprentice in Santa’s workshop commandeers the confectionary operation after the bon bon boss goes healthy and candy canes become nutritious.
on November 30th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
BLACK SUNDAY
On the eve of Cyber Monday, a harried housewife must stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Internet before she misses the boat on that $199 78′ plasma TV on Amazon.com.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
The Nutbuster
When his domineering mother-in-law visits for Christmas, a trembling young
father dreams of escaping her clutches into a magical land of dance and revenge.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
NIGHTMARE ON ELF STREET
An evil toymaker out for revenge on the elf mob that killed him stalks his attacker’s children in their sugar plum dreams.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
The Twilight Saga: Xmas Crush
After surviving the deadly flirtations of a mysterious brooding alien and juggling the loves of a vampire and a werewolf, a teenage girl risks destroying Christmas when she falls in love with Santa’s jolliest elf, Dingle.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
The Night of the Giving Elves
Five explorers stranded at the North Pole fight to survive Christmas Eve when far from jolly Undead Elves terrorize them with the gift that keeps on giving the undying thirst for holiday merriment and brains.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Who Framed Rudolph?
When Rudolph is framed for stealing Christmas presents, a reindeer hating detective, whose brother was run over by a reindeer, is hired by Santa to prove Rudolph’s innocence and ends up uncovering a secret at the North Pole.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Santa Claws
After ignoring mysterious threats against their North Pole research station, six overconfident scientists are swarmed by red-suited aliens hidden beneath Earth’s most desolate landscape.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
SOME LIKE IT SHOT
To ensure Santa makes his rounds, Rudolph must fight to save his antlered comrades from a hot Alaskan, rifle wielding huntress with presidential aspirations on safari at the North Pole.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
SANTA’S HANGOVER — After a wild night the day before X-Mas, Santa must find where he left his sleigh and reindeer in order to get the presents to the children on time or Christmas will be ruined this year.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
GRAN TOYRINO
A disgruntled toy store manager sets out to clean up his neighborhood after a gang of delinquent thugs trys to steal his prized Hot Wheels car collection.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Up In The Snow
Hired on Black Friday to downsize Santa’s workforce, a veteran factory downsizing specialist Elf on the cusp of racking up the highest satisfied gift recipient ratings unexpectedly falls in love with the female Elf training to be his replacement.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
FROST/VIXEN
The story of Jack Frost and his interview of Vixen the other reindeer that lead to the downfall of an elk lodge presidency.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Naughty and Nice
After unwittingly giving presents to the world’s naughtiest children, Santa Claus discovers that a mysterious computer hacker has taken control of his newly computerized workshop.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
THE FROST BOYS
When two elf brothers exiled to California get involved with what they believe to be bikers they find themselves in the fight of their lives pitted against Christmas vampires.
on November 30th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Bruce All Santy:
A grumpy man is made Santa to teach him the value of gift giving. But what Santa doesn’t know is that the guy is a kleptomaniac. (Bruce Almighty)
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
12.25.2012
Santa Claus spearheads the North Pole’s denizens struggle to thwart the cataclysmic Christmas destroying events predicted by a mysterious Advent Calendar.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
MANGER MANAGEMENT
A chance encounter with a pregnant woman sends a mild mannered stable boy on a life changing career path as the first Jewish OB/GYN.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
The Road To Christmas
In a desperate bid to save Christmas, Santa and Rudolph transverse treacherous post-apocalyptic terrain ruled by vicious cannibal toy thieves in search of survivor toy-making Elves.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
CAST AWAY IN A MANGER
A shepherd fights for his sanity after he is shipwrecked on a Mediterranean island with only a ball of sheep’s wool that becomes his constant companion.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
12 Angry Elves
A disgruntled Elf manipulates the North Pole trial of a kid accused of tampering with Santa’s naughty & nice list on Christmas Eve using an internet worm called Xmasficker.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
OH HOLY NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
A faithless security guard fights to save a priceless collection of religious artifacts from radicals out to destroy Christianity‘s second most sacred holiday.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
NOEL ROWANDA
A timid hotel clerk risks his life to save his countrymen and bring Christmas to a war torn African nation.
on November 30th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Sleigh-Runner - A Sleigh-Runner must track down and destroy four mutant, replicant toys when they return to the North Pole looking for their maker.
on November 30th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
SHEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
A Palestinian exchange student hired to play a shepherd in a televised church nativity program fights to prove his innocence when a sheep bomb disrupts the festivities.
on November 30th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
SNOWMEN IN BLACK
Two top secret agents dispatched to the North Pole must battle animal rights activists in order to prevent an invasion of penguin disguised aliens and save planet earth from total destruction.
on November 30th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
BOWOLF
Based on the epic poem, a champion gift wrapper must kill and destroy a ribbon robbing monster terrorizing holiday shoppers in order to liberate a mall and win the hand of Santa‘s hot helper.
on November 30th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
MIAMI ICE
When a vacationing Mrs. Claus is duped by the Jolly Ole Elf’s evil competitor into reversing the earth’s climate she must fight to save the world from massive floods and a frigid Christmasless future.
on November 30th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
SWEEPERS
It’s a Victorian Christmas in the age of Dickens and a chimney sweep must fight to prove his sanity after an on the job meeting with St. Nicholas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 3:53 am
Mrs. Clausfire
When Mrs. Claus accidentally falls into a vat of peppermint fudge and dies, Santa goes on J-Date (who knew?) searching for a new main squeeze. He finds her… but little does he know that “she” is actually an out of work voice over actor hiding from his alimony seeking ex-wife. Things take a turn when, one Christmas morning, a randy Santa tries to take their relationship to the next level.
on December 1st, 2009 at 4:11 am
DRIVING MRS. CLAUS.
An elderly Rudolph provides transportation to an even more elderly widowed Mrs. Claus as she visits a series of animal rights events. The audience fails to see the irony. Oscars follow.
on December 1st, 2009 at 5:42 am
Rosemary’s Baby in a Manger
When her new baby bears a remarkable resemblance to the Christ child, Rosemary is caught with her pants down (again!). Will sly Satan swab the swaddled child for DNA proof?
on December 1st, 2009 at 6:34 am
SLIDEWAYS
A neurotic wine connoisseur and his fading actor buddy head for the slopes of Aspen for some drunken holiday recreation with the perfect ski bunny and bottle of vino.
on December 1st, 2009 at 6:42 am
THE DARK KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne learns to true meaning of the holidays when his Christmas party is interrupted by one of Santa’s ghoulish elves and he must once again don his cape and mask to rid Gotham City of corruption and save Christmas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 6:44 am
THE LORD OF THE SINGS
A hobbit and a brotherhood of rogue elves embark on a harrowing quest to Muzak to find and destroy the source of department store holiday music and rid the world of evil song.
on December 1st, 2009 at 6:49 am
Where The Wild Reindeer Are
An unauthorized adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s beloved children’s story. A little boy accused of burning down his family’s Christmas tree on Christmas Eve is banished to his room where he creates a North Pole inhabited by wild Reindeer that declare him the new Santa Claus and refuse to deliver gifts.
on December 1st, 2009 at 6:59 am
MOULIN ROUGE ET VERT! aka THE RED AND GREEN WINDMILL!
A lovesick poet plots revenge when he spies his beautiful courtesan kissing Santa Claus in the drug and prostitute infested underbelly of 1899 Paris during the Christmas holidays.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:09 am
The Christmas Book
Loosely based on Rudyard Kipling’s timeless tale. A boy raised in the North Pole by wild Santa-despising Reindeer tries to adapt to human holiday season life in Los Angeles.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:11 am
Slumdog Santa
A poor 18 year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai joins a London-sponsored Hindi department store Santa trainee program in order to re-establish contact with the girl he loves who is an obssessed fan Santa. But when he excels at the televised Mall Santa Certification Test, he is arrested on suspicion of cheating.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:14 am
Slumdog Santa
A poor 18 year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai joins a London-sponsored Hindi department store Santa trainee program in order to re-establish contact with the girl he loves who is an obssessed fan of Santa. But when he excels at the televised Mall Santa Certification Test, he is arrested on suspicion of cheating.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:21 am
BROKETOY MOUNTAIN
Two elves spend the rest of their lives trying to accept the forbidden love they discovered with each other one summer repairing a mountain of broken toys.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:27 am
Singin’ in the Snow
Musical. Santa and his merry elves struggle to transition to internet based Christmas wish and gift fulfillment.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:33 am
*revised (final)
Slumdog Santa
A poor teen from the Mumbai slums joins a London-sponsored Hindi Department Store Santa Trainee Program in order to find the girl he loves who is an obsessed fan of Santa. But when he excels at the televised Mall Santa Certification Test, he is arrested on suspicion of cheating and his interrogation uncovers tragic events from his life that reveal how he knew the test answers.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:39 am
CROUCHING ELF, HIDDEN REINDEER
A rival elf and reindeer must use their martial arts skills to save Christmas and the big man’s reputation when they discover the Jolly Ole Elf’s illegitimate daughter has taken the sleigh for a joy ride.
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:41 am
Christmas Wars Episode IV - A Christmas Wish
During a Christmas season far, far away, a poor inner-city boy teams up with rebel Elves in a bid to save Christmas from a Santa Claus gone mad with holiday cheer who threatens to destroy every gift in the world with his Death Sleigh.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:41 am
Citizen Claus
When a toy delivering tycoon dies in seclusion on Christmas Eve, his spouse and news centers across the world scramble to discover the true meaning of his dying breath utterance: “Ho.”
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:42 am
Sleigh Driver
Mentally unstable veteran sleigh leader Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer entertains violent delusions of grandeur as he plots to assassinate Santa Claus and save the world’s children from an over-commercialized Christmas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:45 am
The Reindeer Mummy
After being shipped from the North Pole to NYC where it’s awakened on Christmas Eve by a hapless FAO Schwarz employee, a mummified reindeer wrecks havoc and terror when he guides Santa’s Sleigh through the city.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:55 am
THE FULL MINTY
To repair their crumbling finances and self esteem, six working class candy studded gingerbread men find the courage to expose their peppermint privates and perform a one night striptease act.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:13 am
DANCES WITH ELVES
Stationed at the North Pole, a war scarred soldier’s fractured life is restored after joining a tribe of elves being pushed to extension by encroaching civilization.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:23 am
A TOY SOILDER’S STORY
A toy soldier battles racism as he fights to crack a yuletide murder mystery at the NYC Ballet.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:24 am
A History of Toy Making
A mild-mannered Elf becomes infamous through an act of immense selfishness, setting off a chain of violent toy manufacturing events that threaten to dismantle Santa’s Toy Factory.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:29 am
Eternal Snowstorm of a Cheerless Santa
(Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
When his elves abandon him two weeks before Christmas, Santa undergoes a risky experimental procedure to have his memories of all things Elves erased from his mind, only to suffer from a total amnesia that threatens to end Christmas forever.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:35 am
TOOTSIE
When a cross dressing angel’s scheme to play trombone in the Bethlehem Heavenly Host goes amiss, he must risk loosing his career and true love to set the record straight.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:40 am
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Christmas
With the Wyld Stallyns on the verge of breaking up, plans for a final concert are disrupted by an ancient sorcerer’s scheme to drain every heart of joy.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:41 am
Elftown
A teenage boy investigating a toy theft case at Santa’s Toy factory uncovers a murderous plot involving a jolly toy trafficking ring, a pretty Elf, and a ton of snow.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:44 am
Christmas Day (Groundhog Day)
A cynical, Scroogelike, Christmas hater has to live through Christmas day over and over again.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:48 am
KRINGLE VS. KRINGLE
Mr. and Mrs. Claus are splitsville. Now Santa must fight for custody of his reticent son to ensure the family business doesn‘t die.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:50 am
The Twelve Hangovers of Christmas
With her career, marriage and family all on the rocks, a resolutely cheerful bank manager must navigate the narrow path between alcoholism and absolution.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:02 am
STASHVILLE
When Christmas gift stashes all over Nashville begin disappearing a country singing red kettle Santa must solve the mystery in order to stay out of jail and save the holidays.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:07 am
Survivor: North Pole
Amid scarce food and treachery, sixteen unprepared glory hounds must discover the real meaning of Christmas to win one million dollars.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:09 am
POUR CHRISTMASES
An alcoholic couple must battle the bottle through four liquor filled holiday celebrations in order to stay sober and win a $10,000 bet with their sadistic AA sponsor.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:09 am
Million Dollar Baby Holiday Gifts
A disaffected toy store employee is forced to assist a snobbish socialite with her relentless demands to find perfect Christmas and Hanukkah gifts for bratty toddlers.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:11 am
The Brandy Bunch Movie:
An inventor is lauded for creating a new kind of brandy which actually makes fruit cakes taste good, and sales skyrocket until a lab assistant discovers that the secret ingredient has mind controlling powers, and must risk his life to warn the world before Christmas is forgotten forever.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:20 am
FOOLS GOLD TINSEL
News of an obscure vintage Christmas shop sends a nearly divorced couple on a wacky danger filled quest through Manhattan for the ultimate holiday décor.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:21 am
Very Yule Things
Four elves accidentally impale Santa through the back of the head with a candy cane, then bury his dead body in the Arctic Tundra. As Christmas draws near, the elves begin turn on each other. “It’s the feel bad movie of the season!”
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:23 am
The Island of Unfit Toys
TTo rejoin their rich but dimwitted parents, three feuding children must escape a secret island dumping ground for the world’s most dangerous playthings.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:25 am
FAILURE TO LUNCH
A aspiring television chef fights to prove her innocence and save her budding career when several guests at her Christmas dinner are hospitalized with food poisoning.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:35 am
ALL ABOUT CHRISTMAS EVE
A Mafia princess turns to her brothers when an upstart bimbo threatens to hijack her family Christmas eve celebration only to discover the woman she’s put a contract on is in fact her long lost sister.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:43 am
YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU
A down on their luck party crashing couple fill their shopping lists with gifts stolen from unsuspecting hosts until they are confronted by a Christmas angel who gives them an opportunity to pay for their transgressions or suffer eternal consequences.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:44 am
WHEN SANTA ATE RUDOLPH
Can Santa make bambi-burgers and still deliver Christmas gifts in the morning?
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:50 am
Santa Claus is Skippin’ My Town
After an effete Wall Street community shreds common decency, its last innocent lawyer fights to his last breath to destroy excessive bonuses, power and privilege.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:51 am
A FARWELL TO ARMS
What started out as a quest for revenge against the fat man in a red suit that robbed him of his arms leads Jack in the Box to a life changing discovery and the love of a silver wire coiled toy.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:00 am
SAW SANTA
Santa uses serrated methods to get apathetic, non-believers into the holiday spirit.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:03 am
WHERE THE TOYS ARE
Four girls who’ve outgrown Santa stow away in an RV headed for Ft. Lauderdale to fulfill their fantasies at the Holiday Gift and Toy Expo and must fight to escape the clutches of a sadistic toy maker looking for cheap labor.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:12 am
DRAG ME TO HANUKKAH
Christine Brown has a good job, a great boyfriend, and a bright future. But in three days, she’s going to Hanukkah.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:12 am
ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER
When a saucy angel afraid of heights falls for Douglass Fir she must find the magic to save her love before Christmas is over and keep their romance from going up in flames.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:15 am
Three Wise Guys
After their vicious godfather is assassinated, a journey to Sicily by three frightened mob lieutenants is accidentally diverted to Bethlehem and a long-awaited rebirth.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:16 am
MEN IN RED
Posing as street corner Santa’s two top secret agents race to save NYC from alien invaders posing holiday shoppers.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Beavis and Butthead Do Christmas
Hoping to score with some hot shopping mall chicks, Santa Butt-head and Beavis Elf transform their toyland workshop into a private pleasure palace. Uh-huh. Huh-huh.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Santa Claus or: How I Learned to Stop Bitching About Not Receiving Good Gifts and Love the Gift of Giving
(Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)
An insanely jolly fat man embarks on a no purchase necessary gift giving campaign dubbed “Get The Stuff You Really Want But Can’t Actually Afford From Santa For Free” that prompts bankruptcy-threatened business CEOs around the world to diligently thwart his efforts by all costs.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Snowman 2: Abominable versus Frosty
A vacation to rediscover his roots turns to terror when Frosty discovers a tribe of jealous cousins that are planning to end Christmas forever.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:43 pm
KWANZAABLANCA (AKA EVERYBODY COMES TO NICK’S)
Powerful feelings of love and duty conflict when jolly yet jaded St. Nick, retired from the Christmas biz and running a Moroccan nightclub, is reunited with Mrs. Claus, whose new flame needs his help to bring Kwanzaa umoja to millions of children.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
THE GELT OF THE SIERRA MADRE
A couple of down-on-their-luck prospectors search for chocolate coins in 1920s Mexico.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
DONNIE DREIDEL
A troubled teen spends eight days committing bizarre crimes on the orders of a giant spinning top.
on December 1st, 2009 at 1:57 pm
LATKES, SHAMASH, AND TWO SMOKING CANDLES
A group of working-class guys get into trouble with a crooked potato mogul on the second night of Hanukkah.
on December 1st, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Soylent Wintergreen
When missing persons cases spike before Christmas, a mall detective discovers that people are disappearing from a changing room to be sold as meat logs.
on December 1st, 2009 at 2:57 pm
The Last of the Toymakers
As video game companies battle for domination in the 22nd century, Santa and his last two elves must choose between conformity and freedom before toys vanish forever.
on December 1st, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Santa’s Just Not That Into You
Gigi is sure she’s been a good girl after sitting on Santa’s lap and hearing his jolly laugh, but then he never calls. What’s up with that?
on December 1st, 2009 at 4:10 pm
“Cat Holiday Afternoon”
The night before a meeting with Dreamworks, a desperate screenwriter robs the original manuscript to “Save The Cat” Strikes Back!” 250 LAPD cops, the F.B.I., 8 hostages and the entire STC Nation will never forget what took place.
on December 1st, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“The Cat in the Hat Strikes Back on Christmas Eve”
Conrad and Sally Walden have been naughty. With no presents under their tree, no stuffings in their stockings, and Santa nowhere in sight, they plan to run away from home. That is until the Cat in the Hat strikes back to save the day.
on December 1st, 2009 at 4:36 pm
FarScapanta
After falling through a wormhole, Santa finds himself in the middle of a peacekeeper war and must capture scorpius in order to save Christmas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Frosty the Hitman
With the malicious Miser brothers in hot pursuit, Frosty must trek across barren Siberia tundra to return a kidnapped Santa and Rudolph to the North Pole before Christmas is whacked out.
on December 1st, 2009 at 5:06 pm
SLEIGHS, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES
Stranded after a freak reindeer accident, a desperate Santa Claus teams up with another jolly fat man to travel the globe delivering presents - by any means necessary.
on December 1st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Pirates of the Carribean: At Wit’s End
As his friends and immortality schemes run thin, Captain Jack Sparrow journeys north to steal secrets from the ageless and powerful Saint Nick.
on December 1st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
SE7ENTH: Two obsessed detectives desperately hunt for a serial killer named “Donner” who justifies his crimes as clearance for the world’s ignorance of the seventh reindeer.
on December 1st, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Quentin Tarantino’s A Christmas Carol
Three gritty tales of loneliness and greed converge in this groundbreaking exploration of squandered potential.
on December 1st, 2009 at 5:41 pm
WAITING FOR GOODLIST
Santa Claus checks his list. Twice. (Forgive me, I couldn’t resist this one. Incidentally, Waiting for Godot has indeed been made into a film. I checked, once.)
on December 1st, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Sanity Clause: It’s Harvey Christmas Without Santa
When a disgusted Santa Clause retires to the tropics one week before Christmas, a mild-mannered mental patient and his friend – an invisible 6-foot rabbit who claims to be the Easter Bunny – escape from their asylum on a quest to find Santa and convince him to return to action in time to save the true meaning of Christmas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:12 pm
THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE MARY
A nerdy shepherd’s second chance for romance comes to a screeching halt when he learns his former crush is pregnant and God Almighty is the father.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:23 pm
SANTASIA
Santa breaks out of his ho-ho-humdrum holiday routine in this showcase of groundbreaking yuletide animation set to the compositions of major Western composers.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:37 pm
THE REINDEER SLAYER
When Santa is implicated in a baby seal killing spree, Rudolph and company must take up arms to find the real criminals and prove their boss innocent before Christmas eve.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:44 pm
PRETTY MORMON
Ostracized by the chorus, a sexy singer in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s Christmas concert finds her corporate raiding knight in shining armor while turning tricks in the orchestra pit.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:52 pm
One Flew Into The Cuckoo’s Nest
Upon arrival at a mental institution, Santa Claus rallies the patients together to give the oppressive Nurse Ratched the Christmas she missed as a child.
on December 1st, 2009 at 8:55 pm
SOUTH POLE: BIGGER LONGER AND UNCUT
Santa’s elves must join forces to uncover the source of a fake sex tape that threatens to send the Clauses to divorce court and require the Jolly Ole Elf to register as a sex offender ending Christmas for good.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:02 pm
ELVZ N THE HOOD
Three elves on a suicide mission from the North Pole must put down a vicious gang in order to bring holiday cheer to a crime ridden South Central LA neighborhood.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:08 pm
FRANKENSTEIN AND MYHRR
When a mad scientist rejects the man he created, the monster goes on a holiday killing spree in search of an aromatic spice that can transform him into a normal human being.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Santa Returns
After a long visit to the remains of his birthplace, the Merry Man returns to become the people’s inspiration once again and reclaim the joy of Christmas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:21 pm
INVASION OF THE BRANDY SNIFTERS
It’s Christmas in San Francisco as a public health officer struggles to prove the human race is being kidnapped and replaced with pompous Brandy swilling clones in velvet smoking jackets.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:27 pm
WILLY TONKA AND THE TRUCK FACTORY
The only toy a sick child wants for Christmas is a dump truck. But when Willy Tonka is swiped by evil Chinese toymakers, Santa must bring out the big guns to ensure one good boy gets his four wheeled friend.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:27 pm
SPEED 3: The NeverEnding Sleigh Ride
When a greedy child rigs Santa’s sleigh to explode if it ever stops delivering presents, a lowly elf must save Saint Nick — and the world — from perpetual Christmas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:35 pm
How Santa Got His Groove Back
Persuaded to take a first-class Jamaican vacation, Santa Claus basks in beauty until a disguised Mrs. Claus questions his balance between romance, companionship and worldwide responsibility.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:36 pm
2001: A SPICE ODYSSEY
To retrieve the scents of Christmas, a celestial spice explorer must travel to the moon and battle aliens who have stolen the world’s supply of cinnamon, mint and cloves.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:45 pm
BLAZING SANTAS
It’s total meltdown for an army of Santa clones when an elf hit man infiltrates the enemy’s hutch to rescue Kris Kringle who’s been kidnapped by the Easter Bunny out for a piece of the holiday action.
on December 1st, 2009 at 9:56 pm
WAITING TO EXCHANGE
Exchanging gifts takes on a whole new meaning this holiday season for four women dissatisfied with the men in their lives when they swap more than just presents.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:03 pm
THE CAROLER ALWAYS SINGS TWICE
The lusty wife of a Christmas hating drunk conspires with her baritone boyfriend to murder her humbug husband, but is left holding the bag when her husband kills her lover and implicates her in the crime.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:29 pm
SPOON STRUCK
A perky TV chef taping a holiday special falls into a coma after an accident with spoonful of figgy pudding and fights to return to consciousness in time to accept a Christmas eve wedding proposal from her boyfriend.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:36 pm
THE PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE STORY
The mayor of a town low on civic pride and holiday cheer inspires his citizenry to vie for a place in the record books by creating a winter carnival and nativity sculpted entirely from cream cheese.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:45 pm
THE GOOD BUY GIRL
A lovelorn shopaholic puts her gift for bargain hunting into high gear in hopes of landing the handsome Marine collecting Christmas toys for tots at the local recruiting station before he ships out overseas.
on December 1st, 2009 at 10:57 pm
A FEW GOOD ELVES
Defending an pixie charged with toy sabotage sends a Christmas court appointed lawyer on a harrowing quest to uncover the truth while maintaining his own honor as an elf.
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:02 pm
DIE HARD WITH A VIRGIANCE– all Joseph McClane wants is to spend the holy days– and the world’s first Christmas– patching things up with his mysteriously-very-pregnant wife Mary Gennero-McClane in at a quaint bed-and-breakfast in Bethlehem (just up the coast from Los Angeles). An encounter with an unsympathetic innkeeper leads to a cat-and-mouse game against terrorists bent on robbing three wise guys from the Far East (New York City) of a cache of gold and other expensive gifts. Surviving this night is gonna take a miracle! Yippe-ki-yay, myrrh-and-frankenscense!
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:08 pm
SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE OR DIE HARD– Thirty years after the raid on Bethlehem, the son of Joseph is back, with a vengeance! They thought they could frame him as a thief; they thought they would murder/martyr him easily; they thought he was the son of a carpenter– They thought wrong! This Easter (give or take 3 days) Jesus comes back to kick ass!
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:12 pm
TOTAL REGIFT
Persued by misguided relatives, Douglas Quaid heads for Mars to solve the riddle of a terrible Christmas gift. With the help of a few mutant friends, and some fresh rapping paper, he’ll give it back to someone he doesn’t like(Total Recall)!
on December 1st, 2009 at 11:24 pm
THE PASSION OF THE CHUCK– when his best friend Jesus– the only man to survive being punched by him (TWICE even!)– is wrongly accused, convicted and sentenced to death, Chuck Norris takes matters into his own hands to set things right the way only Chuck Norris can! Along the way, he takes care of some trouble in Sodom and Gommorah too! It’s a Mid-East melt-down full of spin kicks, head butts and holiday cheer!
on December 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 am
SNOWBISCUIT
Kris Kringle, a millionaire philanthropist who loses everything in the depression and a midget toymaker named Jingle find each other and discover hope in the form of a mutant reindeer - changing the world overnight.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 4:48 am
NO COUNTRY FOR SNOW MEN
After a hott snowman rolls upon a lost deposit of Christmas stocking coal, he is forced to deliver the gag gift to all the evil children on the naughty list while being stalked by the naughtiest one of them all: Anton Sugar.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 4:57 am
Sleigh Wars: Episode V1 - Santa Strikes Back
Scrooge and the elite forces of the Humbug Empire are in pursuit of Santa and the Reindeer Alliance. While Scrooge chases Rudolph across the skies, Santa takes advanced sleigh training from Elf Master Froda leading to
the ultimate snowdown between Scrooge and Santa. “Use the Force Santa!”
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:06 am
THE DARK KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
After the Joker persuades Santa Clause into a “coin-flip” system for his ‘naughty or nice?’ list, Batman is forced to explain the stupidity of it all while still being nice.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:12 am
THE SIX PRESENTS
When a lonely child is gifted with the ability to see inside the wrapping of his presents and discovers a 1973 version of “Dead People”, he must explain that he’s seen “Dead People” already; without giving away his big secret. (The Sixth Sense)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:13 am
March of the Reindeers
Braving icy winds, freezing temperatures and starvation, 9 reindeer, lead by Rudoplh, walk to the North Pole to help Santa deliver presents on Xmas Eve.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:18 am
Happy Hooves
Into the world of the flying reindeer, who drive Santa’s sleigh, a reindeer is born who cannot fly. But he can tap dance across the roofs!
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 am
Flightplan
A fat man in a red suit and his elf helper are flying home from America to the North Pole. At 30,000 feet the elf vanishes and nobody admits he was ever on that sleigh.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:26 am
FLIGHT CLUB
After Reindeer Carl becomes suddenly aware of the meaningless life he leads, he forms an underground club in order to indulge the addiction of flying around after the Christmas Season with the help of his imaginary friend Rudolph. (Fight Club)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:32 am
CITIZEN CANE
A driven young candy cane maker faced with a rapidly approaching deadline desperately tries to
solve the mystery behind a dying billionaire’s last Holiday snack. (Citizen Kane)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:36 am
FORREST GUMDROP
The story of a delicious gingerbread man who, despite having an IQ of only 75, leads a most extraordinary life of persuading people not to eat him. (Forrest Gump)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:39 am
Sex and the North Pole
Elfie Bradshaw and her three beautiful elf friends have been looking for love in all the wrong igloo’s. As they continue to juggle making toys, wrapping, baking and life in the North Pole, they discover more than ever, that true friendship never goes out of style.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:43 am
SAVORING PRIVATE ALMONDS
After Christmas Day, 8 soldiers are sent on a mission to find a man who has stolen the prized dinner almonds. (Saving Private Ryan)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:50 am
SPEED 3: The NeverEnding Sleigh Ride
When a greedy child rigs Santa’s sleigh to explode if it ever stops delivering presents, a lowly elf must save Saint Nick — and the world — from perpetual Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:56 am
PIE HARD
A New York cop visits his estranged wife who has just finished slaving over a batch of Christmas pies; unaware that he’s already stuffed.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:09 am
Clash of the Reindeers:
When Zeus favors Rudolph above Thetis’ Reindeer, she transforms Rudolph into a chipmuck. Now Santa and his elves risk their lives on a perilous journey to trap Medusa–whose stare turns mortals into snowmen, but whose blood will end the curse.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:29 am
Rudolph Beuller’s Day Off
The red-nosed reindeer decides to take a Christmas Eve off and fake a sickness to Santa. With the help of his hot girlfriend Suzy Snowflake, and best friend Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph transforms his sickday into a wild Holiday and gains the sympathy of all the elves in the North Pole.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:34 am
Dude, Where’s My Sleigh
A hard-working but hard-partying Santa Claus and his chief elf go on an Egg Nog bender after a busy month of toymaking at the North Pole. But when they finally wake up on Christmas Eve Day, they find that they’ve misplaced the magical sleigh… and all of the presents that need to be delivered to the good girls and boys
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:36 am
The (Christmas) Conversation
After a few frightening run-ins with aggressive fans, Santa Claus has become skittish and paranoid, locking his doors and checking them twice. And when his famous Naughty or Nice list is stolen, a desperate Santa is convinced that these surveillance records will be used to harm the little boys and girls he has come to love so dearly
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 am
Silence of the Toys
Santa’s youngest Reindeer opens up emotionally to an incarcerated and manipulative elf to receive help in catching another rogue elf who hunts children on Santa’s naughty list… and skins them alive.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 am
Santa Claus of Arabia
During a worldwide oil crises, Santa Claus assumes an Arabic persona to lead a group of tribesmen into acts of goodwill teaching them the importance of alternate energy and the true meaning of Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:40 am
Reservior Elves
After Christmas Eve goes terribly awry, toymakers who know eachother only by names of the flying reindeer, were brought together by Santa Claus to execute the perfect Christmas, recall the events of the Christmas Season gone wrong.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:41 am
One Flew Over The North Pole
An insubordinate elf is transferred from a tiny elvish prison farm to the North Pole for a few months of what he thinks will be easy toymaking. But after seeing the conditions at the Pole, he rallies the rest of the elves against a not-so-jolly Mrs. Claus.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:41 am
Apocolypse Ho Ho Ho
Elf Captain Willard is assigned to a treacherous mission into the South Pole to assassinate a rebellious, former jolly saint, Colonel Klaws, who has set himself up as Father Christmas among the indeginous elves. The ho ho horror… the ho ho horror!
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:42 am
The Santa Suit Thieves
After losing his job at Scrooge and Marley, unemployed and desperate Bob Cratchet finally lands a job as a Mall Santa only to have his suit stolen. With the help of his son Tiny Tim, this father and son team search the town for his stolen suit, and find the true meaning of Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:52 am
Yule Intentions
During a Yankee Swap, a young man bets his step-sister that he can convince a novice Yankee Swapper to trade him her gift, a holiday pie. If he loses the bet, his step-sister gets his gift, a Jaguar, if he wins, he gets her.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
Kill Klaus: Vol. 1
After waking up on Christmas Day from a nine month coma and discovering there are no presents for him under the Christmas Tree, The Boy plots a milk-and-cookies-sweet revenge against the man who betrayed his boyhood love and trust - Santa Claus.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:36 am
There Will Be Gifts
An obese bearded middle-aged man is driven to build a magical, monopolistic toy delivery empire by any means necessary due to his intense sense of merriment and psychological need to see every nice child in the world with elf-made gifts in hand every Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:37 am
Santa’s List
Santa Claus, a greedy business man, looks to make a fortune using cheap elf labor in a toy making factory on the North Pole, but after witnessing the brutal conditions and horrible fate of the elves, he creates a list of over 1100 elves who he saves from death… and ends up penniless.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:53 am
It’s a Wonderful Gift
Fed-up with receiving boring and useless gifts for Christmas, a frustrated family man desperately plots to dispose of all his family’s money before the holidays so they can stop giving each other gifts. When his efforts to go broke fail and he attempts to lock his family in a fallout shelter for the rest of their lives, a Guardian Angel visits him and gives him a glimpse of his family’s life without the heartfelt gift-giving traditions of Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:56 am
THE PRINCESS AND THE GROG
One too many cups of Christmas grog sends a New Orleans princess on a drunken holiday with a starring role on a Royals Gone Wild video. Now she must race to find a slimy porn peddler and destroy the tape that threatens to disrupt her coronation.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
THE REINDEER HUNTER
The Reindeer, each suffering in his own way from Post-Christmas Stress Disorder, must save Rudolph from himself when, instead of re-assimilating into society, he spends January playing deadly games of chance in seedy underground igloos.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
Cheer and Tidings in Las Vegas
An Elf and his Reindeer friend get hopped up on peppermint schnapps and rum balls, hijack Santa’s sleigh, and hit the road to Sin City. When they get there, things get even more surreal when the wasted pair realize they’ve arrived during a Real Beard Santa Convention. “It’s a merry journey into the heart of a Christmasy dream.”
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
SCENT OF A REINDEER
A young buck in Santa’s flight school escorts the now blind and retired Rudolph on a holiday trip to NYC that will change both their lives forever.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:58 am
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE LIST
A hefty reward and the lure of fame joins two elves in an uneasy alliance against a third pixie in a winner takes all race to find Santa’s list that has been stolen by a syndicate of juvenile delinquents.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:01 am
Undeliverable
A UPS delivery man discovers something magical about himself after he survives a devastating truck crash during a deadly blizzard.
(Spoiler: He’s Santa Claus!… “Unbreakable”)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
Undeliverable
(*revised)
A UPS delivery man discovers something magical about himself after he survives a devastating truck crash during a deadly day-before-Christmas blizzard.
(Spoiler: He’s Santa Claus!… “Unbreakable”)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:31 am
ALL ABOUT ELF
A diminutive, self-deprecating fan insinuates himself into Santa’s Toy Shop with ulterior designs on taking over the big guy’s post as the most-loved icon of children around the world.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:31 am
CHRISTMASTOWN
A private investigator is lured into a web of intrigue when he’s hired to determine whether an elf is having an affair, but after he falls for the elf’s wife, he discovers a complex, murderous and ultimately incestous plan by Santa Claus to reroute the North Pole’s supply of snow.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:32 am
BLADE REINDEER
A retired, alcoholic, red-nosed cop (Rudolph) is called back to duty to hunt a gang of misfit toys before they can destroy their maker, Santa Claus.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 am
MASSAGE IN A BOTTLE
A crusty elf and his North Pole reconnaissance team must reel in one frisky fat man gone wild when an evil toy mogul’s naughty lotion threatens to leave half the world’s children empty handed watching mommy kissing Santa Claus.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:55 am
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Elves:
When two elves open up a cigar club, Santa transforms into a cigar-smoking, trumpet-playing misfit while his neighbors steal his presents. Now Mrs. Santa must get Santa back on track and find those gifts before Christmas is lost.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:55 am
17 Candles
After Jake Ryan leaves for college, depressed Samantha receives Rudolph’s curse to relive her LAST birthday every Chrismas until she finds a way to save Long Duk Dong from fruitcake rehab. (Sixteen Candles)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:01 am
CLAUSLESS
Mrs. Clause heads south to retrieve her rebellious daughter who’s escaped to sunny California and living in a mall determined to appear on a vapid TV show about teenage angst in LA.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 am
Valley Christmas
As the family business withers and Julie works more hours, Randy realizes his love isn’t enough. After several failed marriage proposals, he turns to Santa for help by volunteering to deliver gifts to the Valley this year. (Valley Girl)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:09 am
Finding Santa
When Santa accidentally falls out of the sleigh in a drunken stupor, Mrs Claus and Rudolph, a clumsy and forgetful reindeer, embark on an epic flight of fantasy encountering Jack Frost and the Abominable Snowman in their quest to bring Santa home in time for Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:12 am
10 Ghosts I Lost Over You
After her band breaks up, Kat’s days at college turn worse when she realizes she can’t go home for the holidays. To bring her spirits up, Patrick devises an incredible plan where she will be visited by the 10 ghosts of Christmas Present during her Christmas break at school. Little does he know, the ghosts of Christmas Past and Future want in on the fun too.
(10 Things I Hate About You)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:18 am
Pretty Reindeer
On the verge of his first ride with Santa, an overzealous reindeer walks through the woods and encounters the hapless reindeer who failed to make Santa’s team. As he interacts with the unfortunates, he discovers the true meaning of Christmas as he falls for Rudolph’s first love, Snow White.
(Pretty Woman)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
Fatman and Robin
Fatman, disguised in a red suit and a bushy white beard, and his feathered friend Robin, must stop the hot tempered Mr. Thaw and the fire-eating Mr Burn from defrosting the North Pole and turning it into a tropical beach resort.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
A School Song for Santa
After finishing his evening lecture, Dewey Finn’s at it again. This time, he inspires the kids to write Santa’s theme song and perform on Christmas Eve. But he’s got two problems; will Santa agree to stay home for Christmas as all of America visits his home for the holidays?
(School of Rock)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:34 am
(How The President stole Christmas)
On the verge of civil war in America, President Obama reneges from his second term and chooses to move to the north pole with Michelle and become Santa Clause to save his country.
(How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:04 am
When Santa met Sally
Santa and Sally have been friends for years but they fear sex would ruin their friendship. After a night of rampant passion in the back of the sleigh, will they still be friends on Christmas morning?
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:16 am
3 DAYS OF THE CHRISTMAS
After finding his four calling bird, three French hen, and two turtledove coworkers murdered, a promiscuous CIA analyst (codename: Partridge) goes into hiding; but when he uncovers a sinister government conspiracy, he realizes he must find True Love before the fowl assassins get him too.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:22 am
The Boogie Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and with almost no toys made, infamous toy producer Santa Claus discovers Elfie Adams and his unique toy-making tool to build the rest of the toys. But can Elfie handle the fast paced toy-making lifestyle of 1970s Santa’s Village?
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
There Will Be Presents
A turn-of-the century prospector strikes oil and becomes rich, which allows him to focus on the only thing he cares about: Buying presents for his son H.W. But when charismatic preacher Eli Sunday insists that there’s more to Christmas than just consumerism, conflicts escalate and even the bond between father and son becomes imperiled by the heavy flow of presents.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
The 40 Year Old Virgin Santa
A jolly fat guy lives alone and spends his evenings in the workshop making toys and renovating classic vintage sleighs. During a game of hot poker over the fire, Santa’s elf buddies discover that he’s never “done the deed” so resolve to help him lose his virginity on a boozy boys night out in Lapland.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Miracle On Elm Street
After Thanksgiving, a cynical nine-year-old girl writes a Dear Santa letter doubting that Santa Claus is real, but her dreams come true when all the kids on her block are murdered and she gets all their Christmas presents. Brought to you by Macy’s.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Oh’ Holy Mountain
A man who sneaks into peoples homes late at night is crucified, but then is brought by an alchemist to join a group of elves who turn things into toys. He and the elves use there prowess to disperse their handmade toys and goods in exchange for immortality.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Milk And Cookies
Tired of boring cookies, Santa Claus comes out of the chimney as Christmas’ first openly gay official and works tirelessly to defeat Proposition Chocolate Chip Cookie, which would ban gay cookies such as macaroons and ladyfingers from being left for Santa on Christmas night.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Christmas Day Afternoon
A young brother and sister have been so bad they ain’t gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas; so that afternoon, they decide to go to the attic (Attic! Attic! Attic!) and take the presents their parents were planning on returning. But when Mom and Dad catch them in the act, they find themselves trapped, with little chance for a clean getaway
on December 2nd, 2009 at 3:42 pm
SANTA BEGINS
Haunted by the poverty of his parents, a jolly, overweight man trains in toy-making merriment and reindeer breeding to launch a polar enterprise, giving free gifts to the impoverished, against the wishes of the prosperous Wal-Mart chain. (Batman Begins)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 3:43 pm
December Sky:
When all of his reindeer all get sick on a bad batch of hay, a desperate Santa turns to a young science student from West Virginia to help him design and build a rocket that will enable him to make his Christmas Eve deliveries.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
December Sky (try again without the typo):
When all of his reindeer get sick on a bad batch of hay, a desperate Santa turns to a young science student from West Virginia to help him design and build a rocket that will enable him to make his Christmas Eve deliveries.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 3:50 pm
THE WIZARD OF CLAUSE
After a twister transports lonely Santa to Kansas, he sets out on a sweaty journey to find a sleigh with the power to send him home before Christmas Eve. (The Wizard of Oz)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
There’s Something About Merry Christmas:
Ted is disappointed to finally reconnect with his high school crush only to find she is already involved with another man, but finds new hope when she comes to him for help in overcoming her phobia of all things Christmas.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 4:10 pm
DONNIE CLAUSE
After a depressed teenager survives a freak sled accident, he slowly uncovers the tools to control time the week before his work-obsessed father abandons his family for his yearly Christmas morning delivery. (Donnie Darko)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I, SANTA– When he learns of the suicide of his favorite department store seasonal-employee, Socialist athiest homicide detective Del Spooner embarks on a perilous investigation into the realm of mall Santas to uncover the shocking truth. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus– and he’s a sociopathic, child-molesting murderer!
on December 2nd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
How White Was My Valley
As global warming destroys the North Pole, Santa must balance the demands of faith, elves and marriage to create a new life outside the Arctic Circle.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Monty Python and the Holy Male
King Arthur and his knights embark on a low-budget search for the newborn Christ, encountering many very silly obstacles.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Full Red Jacket
A pragmatic St. Nick observes the dehumanizing effects the holiday season has on fellow shopping mall Santas from brutal basic training to the horrors of last-minute Mall of America shoppers.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Mr. Claus Goes to Washington
Appointed to fill a vacancy in the U.S. Senate, a kindhearted old man collides with political corruption and cruelty during the Christmas season.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Santa Claus and the Toy Factory
An impoverished young boy wins a tour through the most magnificent toy factory in the world, run by a kindly old man and his elves.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:38 pm
A Clockwork Snowman
Charismatic delinquent Frosty is jailed and volunteers for experimental therapy developed by Santa to solve society’s snow cone problem… but not all goes to plan.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Close Encounters of the 25th Kind
After an encounter with Santa Claus, a power line worker feels undeniably drawn to an isolated northern area where something spectacular is about to happen.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Star Trek 23: The Wrath of Kringle
Admiral Kirk’s annual crisis is interrupted by the return of a very old friend looking for re-gifting ideas and maybe some egg nog.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Murder on the Polar Express
After his magical North Pole train is stopped by deep snow, a young detective is called on to solve a gingerbread man murder that occurred in his car the night before.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
To Catch an Elf
When a reformed candy thief is suspected of returning to his former occupation, he must ferret out the guilty elf in order to prove his innocence.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Santa and Maude
Young at heart, happy and obsessed with Christmas, Santa finds himself changed forever when he meets moribund septuagenarian Maude at a funeral.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
GOY STORY (family; animated)
Marty the Menorah is profoundly threatened and jealous when a fancy Christmas tree supplants him the first holiday season in a mixed-faith household.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
The X-Mas Files: Surrender the Present
Mulder and Scully learn why no one shoots at Santa Claus when St. Knick’s slay is ambushed on Christmas Eve.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm
The Blob
Santa can’t fit into his sleigh much less his Santa suit. Can Santa lose it all at the Jack Frost’s Fat Farm?
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Blank List:
By accident, the 12-year-old Pierce is given a blank Christmas list from a runaway elf and when he fills it in, he is able to get it what he asks for! (Blank Check)
on December 2nd, 2009 at 11:48 pm
The Curious Christmas of Benjamin Button
On his last Christmas, Benjamin Button asks Santa for a wish: to see how his life might had turned out had he lived it normal but an extra bit of magic also gives Button the chance to live life the proper way or as it was intended, solely for him.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Gi Joe: The Rise of Christmas
When Santa’s captured by Cobra on Christmas eve, an elite global task force known as GI Joe lead by a crotchety old marine will have to race around the world delivering presents to children in hopes of saving Christmas. But when Cobra threatens to use Santa’s power for their own means, the marine must learn what true Christmas spirit is in order to save the day and Christmas from Cobra’s clutches.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 11:53 pm
The Christmas Guy (The Cable Guy)
After Steven splits from Robin he meets a strange character full of Christmas spirit and yuletide vigor. But when this strange character gets Steven a deal on his Christmas presents and asks for a merry good friendship in return, Steven must learn that sometimes things are too good to be true or else get sucker into a life long friendship he can’t break away from.
on December 2nd, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Christmas Royale (Casino Royale)
When a underground crime syndicate leader loses all his money on the stockmarket, he steals the world’s Christmas presents hoping to pay his debtors. But the presents wont be enough to cover the loss and he plans a high stakes poker game where the suave and sophisticated James Bond will have to try and win the presents back for the world.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:01 am
Christmas Day (Groundhog Day)
After being asked to cover a Christmas day parade in the world’s most cheerful town, Phil Conners, an incredibly sarcastic reporter with no patience, decides to take the easy way out and cover the story as quickly as possible with as little Christmas spirit as one could imagine; but when a blizzard prevents him from leaving town Phil finds himself stuck in the winter wonderland from hell and moreover, he finds himself waking up and reliving Christmas day, until he can learn the true meaning of the holiday.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:05 am
Christmas Club (Fight Club)
1st rule about Christmas Club…
2nd rule about Christmas Club…
Out of work and nothing to show for their years as Santa’s helpers, two elves start a club where they beat the Christmas spirit into one another; but as the club catches on, and others join in, so does the holiday spirit and what was once a joyous occasion soon turns deadly as there’s enough cheer around to make everyone sick and possibly hate Christmas forever.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:25 am
Sleighspotting (trainspotting)
A young Kris Kringle steals thousands of dollars from his friends in order to become the Santa we know today; but the story of how he got the cash is one filled with candy cane suppositories, egg nog obsession, horrible nightmares and 4 friends who would send Christmas south if left to their own devices and addictions.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:28 am
Santa Scissorhands
When a witch on Santa’s naughty lists curses Santa with scissors for hands, scaring all the elves away in the process, Christmas looks doomed. But when a door to door sales elf discovers Santa’s uniqueness, she offers to introduce him to a bunch of odd neighbors who might be able to make the situation better and even salvage Christmas.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:30 am
The Iron Claus (Iron Giant)
Santa sends a mysterious iron robot to help him deliver the presents but a blizzard sends it off course under the Christmas tree of a small boy who believes he’s got the best Christmas present ever.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:35 am
North by Northpole
Cultured high brow ad executive Roger Thornhill finds himself in a case of mistaken identity with an international spy and left for dead on Christmas eve as a result. But when he comes to, he only further implicates himself in the plot and finds himself heading to the Northpole for refuge as there’s no reasoning with a group of assassins bent on ending Christmas for the entire world.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:52 am
THE HUNT FOR RED DECEMBER– fed-up with the commercialization of the most beloved holiday, Santa secretly plots to defect from the North Pole to a country with a non-extradition policy, with help from CIA analyst Jack Ryan. But, angry out-of-work elves warn the super-powers that the sleigh is actually a WMD under terrorist control, and it’s a race against time to bring ‘Red December’ in safely, before the skies rain red with the Christmas spirit.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 1:02 am
PEAR TREE ET AL GAMES– it’s another race against time to avert Yuletide global disaster for CIA analyst Jack Ryan; this time, he has just 12 days to find a dozen drummers, 11 pipers, 10 lords, 9 ladies who can dance, 8 maids with 8 cows, 7 swans in a pond or a stream I suppose, 6 well-fed geese ready to pop, 5 gold rings, 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves, and 1 partridge in a very specific tree or IRA terrorists will kill his family!
on December 3rd, 2009 at 1:09 am
CLEAR AND PRESENT MANGER– once more, into the breach to save the holiday; this time, CIA analyst Jack Ryan travels back in time to save the First Christmas from 10 time-leaping lords from the previous installment. Tasked with protecting a pregnant virgin and her clueless and naive husband, skeptical Jack holes up outside a crowded inn in the last place terrorists would look– the empty barn across the street!
on December 3rd, 2009 at 1:17 am
SOME OR ALL PEAR TREES– time-travel has rendered CIA analyst Jack Ryan quite insane, so upon his return to normal time (though he now appears years younger as Ben Affleck than he did as Harrison Ford or eve Alec Baldwin in previous installments), he madly dashes thru the snow in a one horse open sleigh, o’re the fields he goes, laughing all the way… in a desperate search to collect all the partridges from all the pear trees… in… the… world!
on December 3rd, 2009 at 10:41 am
Three Men and a Baby
After unwittingly following signs to a holy rebirth, a hospital mix-up forces three agnostic bachelors sharing a Manhattan apartment to care for the child.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 10:53 am
The Golden Child
After becoming the “Chosen One” during a Jerusalem vacation, a detective who specializes in lost children must find and protect a holy infant against dark forces.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 11:30 am
THE DARK KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne learns the true meaning of the holidays when his Christmas party is interrupted by one of Santa’s ghoulish elves and he must once again don his cape and mask to rid Gotham City of corruption and save Christmas.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Journey to the Top of the Earth
On a quest to find their missing presents, a scientist, his nephew and their mountain guide discover a fantastic and heartwarming lost world at the North Pole.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
THE SANTASTIC 4
After causing an accidental explosion of Christmas rays in Santa’s Workshop a group of under-qualified arctic explorers gain yuletide-based superpowers; but when evil businessman Ebenezer von Scrooge tries to commercialize the holidays, the team must learn that friendship is a greater reward than material things before the whole world becomes humbugified.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Mystery Santa Theater 3000
A man and two elves are trapped on a high-tech space sleigh, where evil Nielsen Ratings scientists force them to sit through the worst Christmas movies ever made.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
CITIZEN KANDY KANE
In this happy-ending sequel, Charles “Frosty” Kane’s magic snow globe gives him a second chance at life. Kane becomes Santa Clause, delivering gifts from his sled, Rosebud, which he rescues from the flames and transforms into a magical vehicle thanks to the Christmas spirit and lots of CGI.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm
The Last Sleighrider
A kind but overweight boy, seemingly doomed to stay in his village home all his life, finds himself recruited as the leader of an elven defense force.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Little Nicky
To become a saint, an over-privileged youth must overcome his need for wealth and adoration as he gives away his vast inheritance to the poor.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Plan 9 From Northern Space
Santa Claus resurrects dead elves as zombies and vampires to stop humankind from creating the Home Shopping Network.
on December 3rd, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Battlefield North
After commercialization and near extermination by the human race in the year 3000, Santa and the elves begin to fight back.
on December 4th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Dirty Prancing
Can an elf from the wrong side of the North Pole teach Santa’s Little Helper how to prance? Or will her good intentions ruin Christmas?
on December 4th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Deuce Bigalow: Elf Gigolo
While North Pole sitting, hapless elf, Deuce, destroys Santa’s Workshop. Can he turn enough ‘tricks’ to replace the toys before Mr. Claus returns?
on December 4th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Cast a-Sleigh
After distracted-driver Santa Claus doesn’t see his fall, a schedule obsessed elf must spend years on a tropical island with only toys for company.
on December 4th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Gnome Alone
Accidentally left behind by his family at Christmas, an eight year-old boy defends his house against invaders before realizing it’s Santa Claus.
on December 4th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
CIDERMAN
An awkward teenager wages war against the forces of evil when one too many cups of genetically altered hot apple cider transform him into a super hero.
on December 4th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
WASSAIL AND FLOW
A Memphis pimp in a mid-life crisis battles the odds to become a successful hip-hop television chef and salvage his wasted life.
on December 4th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
AMERICAN JINGELO
Julian, an elf escort being framed for murder must fight to prove his innocence while protecting the identity of his high profile pixie playmate.
on December 4th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
CHILL BILL
When a pregnant penguin bride wakes from a long coma she sets out to exact revenge on the artic assassins who betrayed her and put the Emperor who stole her chick on ice.
on December 4th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
DIRTY FAIRY
A fairy cop fed up with a failed justice system takes the law into his own hands to end a psychopathic serial killer’s holiday crime spree.
on December 4th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
ON THE WINTERFRONT
An ex-prize fighting elf turned Arctic circle longshoreman takes on his corrupt union bosses to help his fellow exploited toy makers stand up to the big man in red.
on December 4th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
FAIRY MC GUIRE
An unscrupulous N-ELF-L football agent looses his job and all but one client when he has a moment of conscience and must fight his nature and the system to resurrect his career.
on December 4th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
HEAVENLY HOST BUSTERS
Three unemployed parapsychology professors employed by King Herod discover they are no match for disbanding the angelic chorus of heaven come to earth for a supernatural birth.
on December 4th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I KNOW WHAT YOU HID LAST WINTER
When four elves in a snowmobile accidentally hit and kill a drunken Rudolph on a road one Wintery night they must fight to survive the revenge of a reindeer they thought was dead and buried at sea.
on December 4th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
A CHORUS PINE
A group of insecure evergreens auditioning for a role in Santa’s Broadway show battle their own insecurities and each other for their chance to shine on The Great White Way.
on December 4th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
THE INCREDIBLE BULK
When sodium and extra Thanksgiving pounds turns Dr. Luce Banner into a fat raving banshee she must cross the country in search of a cure in order to win back her family and save Christmas.
on December 4th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
THE INEDIBLES
An odd family of undercover superheroes, while trying to live the quiet suburban life, are forced into action to save the world from fruitcake and other unappetizing holiday foods.
on December 4th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
MARLEY AND TREE
Marley, an adorably naughty dog befriends Douglass Fir and struggles to let his owners know his pal prefers life in the woods to being cut down and decorated for Christmas.
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
FORREST PLUMP
A simple single dad grieving the death of his only love with food develops diabetes and struggles to wake from a chocolate induced coma in time to spend Christmas with his adopted son.
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
The Wreathler
Holly “The Ram” Berry, a once crafty now crappy Christmas wreath-maker with a pine cone allergy, suffers an allergy attack during a small-time wreath-making competition and retires, taking a job as a wrestler and getting a new boyfriend, Douglas Fir, but the allure of a rematch with her old nemesis, Martha Stewart, tempts her back into the ring of Western Juniper, even if it means death by wreath.
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
CHESTNUTS ROASTING IN THE LINE OF FIRE
After overachieving on the toymaking assembly-line a goody two-shoes elf gets transferred to Santa-protection detail; but when a serial killer-turned-snowman sets his sights on St. Nick, he must learn to unleash his naughty side before Jack Frost nips more than Kris Kringle’s nose.
(In the Line of Fire, with a nod to Jack Frost(1996))
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
SNOW VERSUS THE VOLCANO
A hypochondriac snowman with a terminal diagnosis learns how to live when he accepts an offer to throw himself into a volcano to appease the Norse fire god and in the process finds love.
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Santy Hall
Elvy Singer, a neurotic elf tries to maintain a relationship with the seemingly drunk, but jolly Santy Hall, but they’re just too different–Elvy likes the North Pole, Santy likes California–so they break up, reconnecting as friends later at the North Pole, both with new toymakers.
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
The Curious Case of Kristopher Kringle
Emerging from the womb as an old man with a long white beard and an enormous girth, Kristopher Kringle ages in reverse, appearing younger and thinner as he delivers gifts every December 25th. Late in life, he finally falls in love with Martha, an actual 16 year old who thinks he’s the same age, and they spend their last few holidays working as Nativity scene actors - her as the Virgin Mary and him as the Baby Jesus.
on December 4th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
HE SLED, SHE SLED
Two elves; a womanizing conservative, the other a cool liberal compete for the same job at the North Pole News each writing opposing winter sports columns until they are romantically drawn together despite their polar opposite views.
on December 4th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
SUPERMAN RETURNS
After Ms. Lane gives him the ugliest sweater ever for Christmas a mortified Superman must take it back to the store, but when Lex Luthor steals the receipt the Man of Steel must learn it’s the thought that counts before he breaks Lois’ heart.
on December 4th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
ON GOLDEN RINGS
With five golden rings and only one wedding scheduled at Two Turtle Doves Wedding Chapel on the twenty-fifth of December, something just doesn’t add up.
on December 4th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
*batteries not included
Confused apartment block tenants seek the aid of Santa Claus and his elves to assemble diabolically complex toys in time for Christmas.
on December 4th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
DEVINE SECRETS OF THE FA LA LA SISTERHOOD
A famous NYC playwright struggles to come to terms with her parent-child problems after receiving a scrapbook detailing the Fa La La’s raunchy nightclub act her mother and feisty friends have performed in the buff each Christmas for sixty-three years.
on December 4th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
The Cook the Elf His Wife and Her Lover
The bored wife of the Jolly Old Elf engages in a secretive romance with a gentle toymaker between meals at her husband’s North Pole palace.
on December 4th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
My Dinner With Santa
Sharing their lives over a restaurant meal, an old friend endures Santa’s tales of moving north, traveling the world and holiday notoriety, only to question his abandonment of the simple life.
on December 4th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Red Velvet
After finding a severed reindeer ear in a field, a young elf discovers a sinister underworld lying just beneath his idyllic North Pole home town.
on December 5th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
It’s a Braveheart Life
Faced with capture, William Wallace’s wish that he were never born is granted so he can witness the far reaching impact his life and death would have on Scotland.
on December 5th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Paul Blart: Mall Santa
When a shopping mall is invaded by a gang of organized crooks, an obese would-be policeman must rally his elves to save the day.
on December 5th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
on December 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Blank List:
By accident, the 12-year-old Pierce is given a blank Christmas list from a runaway elf and when he fills it out, he is able to get what he asks for! (Blank Check)
on December 5th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
The Blob
After putting in a colossal effort delivering Christmas Eve presents, a severely slim Santa Claus consumes everything in his path to return to normal size.
on December 5th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Ornament:
A struggling mall Santa, suffering from short-term memory loss, uses notes, Polaroids and nostalgic ornaments from the last Christmas he remembers to hunt for the man he thinks killed his wife. (Memento)
on December 5th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Invasion of the Toy Snatchers
A group of nine year-olds discover favorite childhood toys are disappearing one by one, only to be replaced by joyless gifts their parents think more age-appropriate.
on December 5th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Virgin Mary Poppins
Floating down from heaven, the perky Virgin Mary becomes a nanny for an unhappy family, turning their lives upside-down with her magic bag of miracles and teaching them the real meaning of Christmas, all the while risking a dangerous flirtation with a fun-loving chimney-sweep who threatens her two thousand years of virginity.
on December 5th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Fa La La Confidential
Set in a corrupt and seedy shopping mall, three department-store Santa Clauses use unorthodox methods to uncover the dark truth behind the sudden spate of Santa-Claus look-alikes…
on December 5th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Breakfast at Macys
Holly scales down her dreams, and her Christmas shopping.
on December 5th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Holidays
With all modes of transportation clogged, a newly-homeless man and his eccentric friend must leverage the vagaries of human holiday rituals to reach relative safety.
on December 6th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Morning rewrite:
Fa La La Confidential
Set in a corrupt and seedy shopping mall, three very different department-store Santas follow a trail of clues to uncover the twisted secret behind the sudden spate of Santa Claus look-alikes…
on December 6th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Morning rewrite:
Breakfast at Macys
Holly is forced to scale down her dreams, and her Christmas shopping.
on December 6th, 2009 at 7:26 am
The Two Thousand Year Old Virgin
Mary’s friends help her overcome a painful emotional block and find Christmas cheer in the arms of her old flame, Joseph.
on December 6th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Alice in Winter Wonderland
Alice follows an otter down a hole in the North Pole where she encounters a surreal world populated by strange creatures, including an unhappy reindeer with a nose that glows, a snowman running amuck with a broomstick, and a partridge in a pear tree. When a bizarre snowman named Parson Brown tries to marry her, Alice makes her escape shouting, “You’re nothing but a block of ice,” waking up in Miami.
on December 6th, 2009 at 10:05 am
THE DIRTY FROZEN
A stubborn major in the elf militia trains a dozen snowmen serving life sentences to lead a suicide mission to assassinate a Santa army battling the real man in red.
on December 6th, 2009 at 10:11 am
THE SUCKIT LIST
It’s the last holiday for two terminally ill confectioners who embark on an international Christmas candy taste-a-thon to savor a lifetime of sugar induced highs before they die.
on December 6th, 2009 at 10:12 am
INDEPENDENCE SLEIGH
Elves competing for the international bobsledding championship must join forces to defeat an alien attack of the north pole that threatens the existence of Christmas.
on December 6th, 2009 at 10:16 am
HOOFLOOSE
A big city reindeer moves to the backwoods for the summer and bucks the no-prance law hoping to impress a doe and enjoy some reindeer games.
on December 6th, 2009 at 10:17 am
RAIDERS OF THE LOST HARK
When Hark Harold the angelic lead singer of the boy band God Squad is kidnapped, an archeologist and a sexy Seraphim must find him in order to keep a divine birth announcement from hitting a sour note.
on December 6th, 2009 at 11:25 am
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Holidays (rewrite)
With all modes of transportation clogged, a runaway teen and his eccentric girlfriend must navigate the vagaries of human kindness to get home for Christmas.
on December 6th, 2009 at 11:40 am
SANTA’S SENSE OF SNOW
After being caught in a whiteout, a perfect storm that turns the light out in Rudolph’s nose, it is only Santa’s sense of snow that will guide them home.
on December 6th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
HOT FUZZ
Rudolph, is good. Too good. And to stop the other deer from looking bad, he is reassigned to the quiet town of Sandford, where he’s set to uncover the truth behind the mystery of the apparent, “reindeer branding acidents.”
on December 6th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
The Good, the Bad and the Merry
Two desperate men form an uneasy alliance against a third in a race to find a sold-out plaything inside a rumored North Pole toy factory.
on December 6th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Go Ahead, Make My Holiday
A fifty-percent-off sale victim is exacting revenge on other shoppers when Dirty Harry, on suspension for gift exchange violations, is assigned to make things right.
on December 6th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Race to Which Mountain?
To stop exploitation by a toy manufacturer, an Alaskan cabbie and a folklore expert must return two happily drunk elves to their “around here somewhere” secret home.
on December 6th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Frosty/Nixon
Hoping Frosty will freeze up in a dance-off, Nixon chooses the happy jolly soul with the corn cob pipe and the button nose and two eyes made out of coal, but there must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found, for when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around.
on December 7th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Crimson Yuletide
An upstart Alaskan moose stages a mutiny on Christmas Eve to prevent his trigger-happy captain from launching mistletoe at a rebel herd of Russian meese and unleashing a deadly panademic of kissing.
on December 7th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Christmas in Prison
A veteran con artist contrives an elaborate prison Christmas pageant using it as a cover for his escape to help his down-and-out family.
on December 7th, 2009 at 8:13 am
It Happens Every Christmas
An oddball family dreams up new Christmas “traditions” to impress their visiting patriarch who is suspected of having a terminal illness.
on December 7th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Santa Dad
On the eve of a family breakup a desperate father goes out on Christmas Eve to find the perfect gifts with the hope of bringing his family together when he is knocked unconcious in an accident and wakes up as Santa (for the night).
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Typo corrected:
Crimson Yuletide
An upstart Alaskan moose stages a mutiny on Christmas Eve to prevent his trigger-happy captain from launching mistletoe at a rebel herd of Russian meese [sic] and unleashing a deadly pandemic of kissing.
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Total Recall Christmas
Hermey the elf dentist discovers he’s really a toy-maker and travels to the North Pole where he helps Kuato lead a rebellion of misfit toys who want to be gifts for children, but who are about to be destroyed by the evil Santa Clause.
on December 7th, 2009 at 11:53 am
My Big Fat Greek Christmas
A Greek woman, her American husband and their children must reconcile modern holiday traditions with the cultural and religious heritage of her growing Greek family.
on December 7th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
My Mother Dreams the Santa’s Disciples in New York
After a fun day’s Christmas shopping with her daughter, Marian is mugged in Central Park by a notorious gang of elves, Santa’s Disciples, who work for the villanous Mr Claus.
on December 7th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
On The Little Town Of Bethlehem
Three wise guys bearing gold, frankincense, and myrrh search for wine, women, and song in Bethlehem during a twenty-four hour shore leave.
on December 7th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
RUDY
The inspirational true story of a diminutive, working-class reindeer, who through persistance and positive-thinking overcomes all obstacles — including the taunts of his sleigh-mates and a ridiculous nose — and fulfills his dream on Christmas Eve of guiding Santa’s sleigh and going down in history.
on December 7th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Rewrite:
Virgin Mary Poppins
Floating down from heaven, the perky and unorthodox Virgin Mary becomes a nanny for an unhappy family, turning their lives upside-down and teaching them the real meaning of Christmas, all the while risking a dangerous flirtation with a happy-go-lucky chimney-sweep.
on December 7th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Indiana Jones and the Last Christmas
When his father goes missing while pursuing Santa Claus, archaeologist Indiana Jones must follow in his footsteps to prevent military theft of unstoppable sleighcraft technology.
on December 7th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Freaky Holiday
Overworked Santa and Mrs. Claus are not getting along, but when they switch bodies, each must adapt to the other’s life for one messed-up Christmas.
on December 7th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
God the Father (I)
An aging patriarch transfers control of his empire to his reluctant son.
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
SNOWY AND THE BANDIT
With only 28 hours before he melts, a semi-retired sled driving snowman races to get 400 cases of magic egg nog from Texarkana to the North Pole in time for Santa’s day after Christmas celebration and win a wad of cool cash.
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
FOR YOUR ELVES ONLY
Fairy spy James Wand races to beat a syndicate of nasty children to a sunken submarine and stolen encryption device essential to decoding Santa’s naughty and nice list.
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
FLASHPRANCE
A reindeer welder by day/exotic dancer by night finds love and encouragement from her elkaholic boss in her quest to become a prima ballerina with the North Pole Ballet.
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
SLEIGHING ALIVE
In this sequel to Saturday Night Beaver, an elf with dance fever slips on his pointy bell shoes to walk away from his working class roots and pursue his dream to dance on the Broadway stage.
on December 7th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
WHISKEY BUSINESS
At home alone, a teenage gnome lives out his adolescent fantasies and must resort to creative fund raising when a drunken joyride in Santa’s sleigh goes awry.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
THREE KINGS AND A BABY
Leaving Bethlehem, three kings discover a holy stowaway and struggle to avoid a murderous King Herod while returning the Christ child back to his parents who are on an Egyptian holiday.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
DREIDEL ATTRACTION
A simple spin of the top turns a lovelorn mensch’s Hanukkah celebration into a fatal mistake that will haunt him when a one night stand comes stalking.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
WREATHAL WEAPON
Two rival floral designers; one suicidal the other near retirement discover a partnership made in heaven when they join forces to stop a gang of evergreen smugglers intent on keeping the holidays anything but merry and bright.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
TO KILL A CALLINGBIRD
A young girl’s coming of age story centered around a trial in which her father defends a crazy shopper who goes postal in a mall after hearing The Twelve Days of Christmas one time too many.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
SE7EN SWANS A SWIMMING
Two elf detectives race to extricate themselves from The 12 Days of Christmas serial killer’s crime spree when they are drawn into his sinister plan before the last verse is sung.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
MERRY TOPPINS
An exiled pointy eared pizza delivery boy bearing pies with magical toppings must save a greedy banker’s miserable Christmas celebration in order to return to his job as the North Pole’s premier pizza proprietor.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
DO THE WHITE THING
Global warming’s rising and it’s the hottest day of the year at the North Pole. Now the elves must overcome their gloom and doom in order to bring down some frozen precipitation before everyone melts.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
ROOFLESS PEOPLE
When a redneck roofer’s failure to complete a job keeps Santa from landing on his clients housetop, he must suit up in red to set things right with some pissed of young ‘uns or die trying.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
LUMP OF COAL MINER’S DAUGHTER
The heart wrenching story of country singing legend Loretta Lynn’s poverty stricken Christmases growing up in the Kentucky mountains.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
REINDEER MAN
Left out of Santa’s will, a greedy reindeer leaves the north pole hoping to get his inheritance from an autistic sibling he never knew he had and finds something more valuable than he had imagined.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
RUDOLPH THE BOTCH NOSED REINDEER
A reindeer unhappy with the family legacy glowing between his eyes fights to recover what a plastic surgeon took in time to take the reins from his dying father and lead Santa on his annual rounds.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
THE NAKED NUN
An order of nuns kick the habit to pose for a pinup calendar and raise enough funds to provide Christmas for their impoverished New Orleans community.
on December 7th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
BEAUTY AND THE FEAST
It’s all out war for three supermodels vying for their own TV cooking show as each prepares and hosts what they hope will be a winning holiday dinner party.
on December 8th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Paranormal Nativity
A poor young couple who display a Nativity scene in their front yard every Christmas, buy a video camera in hopes of capturing the demonic presence responsible for the vandalism and theft of their porcelain Baby Jesus.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:28 am
Christmas on Elm Street:
On his way to stalk his favorite house, Freddy finds that the family inside has enough problems as it is. His bloodlust fades, finding Elm street riddled with Christmas cheer, he then realizes that his bladed glove is perfect for widdling wooden toys!
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:38 am
Inglourious Elves
A team of elves take on the task of trying to set Santa straight because he doesn’t deliver toys to Jewish children. They fight reindeer and other Christmas creatures all in the name of holiday equality.
on December 8th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Eternal Sunshine of the Northern Clime
After their bitter memories of over-commercialized Christmases are erased, Santa and Mrs. Claus must rediscover the world’s enduring misery and the joy of Chriist’s birth.
on December 8th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Eternal Sunshine of the Northern Clime (typo fixed)
After their bitter memories of over-commercialized Christmases are erased, Santa and Mrs. Claus must rediscover the world’s enduring misery and the joy of Christ’s birth.
on December 8th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Conehats
A bizarre red-suited couple leads their followers far north, but their isolated gift-making utopia is disrupted by government agents trying to collect overdue sales tax.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
SANTA’S ANGELS: FULL BOTTLE
Santa’s three top crime fighting tree topper angels struggle to stay sober while investigating a series of murders and the theft of Santa’s naughty and nice database.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
CHRISTMAS WITH THE DRANKS
A backwoods couple forget Christmas while running a bootlegging operation and race to hide their illegal enterprise when their daughter and her FBI agent boyfriend come home for the holidays.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
BLAZING SADDLES
Three gift bearing kings suffering from hemorrhoids race by camel to be the first to adore a new born king and arrange a marriage for their homely infant daughters.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
JOY TO WAYNE’S WORLD
Hoping to boost ratings of their public-access cable show, two slacker friends kidnap a church nativity. But when a holiday telethon to raise the ransom for its return enrages the man upstairs they must fight to survive the wrath of God.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER
A shepherd boy must risk flock and life to expose King Herod’s plot to kill every male infant in Bethlehem.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
RUNAWAY RIDE
Tired of posting bail, Mrs. Santa arranges for a newspaperman to pen a unflattering article about her marriage adverse daughter convicted three times of grand theft sleigh to shame her into tying the knot and ending her larcenous ways.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
DAWN OF THE RED
It’s the holiday from hell when survivors of a worldwide plague producing aggressive, flesh-eating mall Santa zombies, take refuge in a mega Midwestern shopping mall and must fight for their lives until Christmas is over.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
DELIVERENCE
Four reindeer from Santa’s delivery team must take on a band of sadistic redneck gnomes in a fight for their lives when a holiday ice fishing trip becomes a race for survival.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
RIDDLER ON THE ROOF
The three unmarried daughters of a distraught Jewish Santa spend the last night of Hanukkah on a rooftop struggling to talk down their suicidal father threatening to jump to his death over his failed career as a stand up comedian.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
LEGENDS OF THE MALL
Three sisters and their mother working in a mall during the holidays struggle to keep their family together as they fight each other and a host of shoppers for the affections of one UPS delivery man and a date for New Year’s Eve.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
BLADE GUNNER
A champion ice skating elf turned assassin must place duty before love as he tracks down and terminates four talking dolls en route to the North Pole to kill Santa and make their boss, the Easter Bunny the most cherished holiday persona.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
SANTACONDA
A nature show film crew must fight for their lives when they are taken hostage by an insane Santa and forced to the Land of Misfit Toys on a quest to capture the world’s largest and deadliest snake in a can.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
SNAKES ON A SLEIGH
An FBI elf takes on a sleigh full of deadly and poisonous snakes, deliberately released to kill Santa on Christmas eve during his flight around the world.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
BEARSPRAY
A pleasantly plum polar bear fights the efforts of a perky penguin and her pesky mother to get her off the coolest dance show on North Pole TV and keep The Great White North white.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
TOYS ON THE SIDE
Three misfit toys chasing their dreams and escaping their pasts share a ride in a UPS truck en route to California for Christmas.
on December 8th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
MY BEST FRIEND’S SLEDDING
With only days before her best friend weds the wrong bobsledder, a one-of-the guys fairy realizes she’s in love and sets out to get the elf of her dreams before it’s too late.
on December 8th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
SLEEZY RIDER
Two trampy counterculture pixies hijack Santa’s sleigh in LA on Christmas eve and travel from California to New Orleans in search of America.
on December 8th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
JOY TO THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP
A free-style wrestling elf with aspirations to write the next great Christmas story draws an odd bunch of groupies into his life including his coach’s daughter with whom he falls in love.
on December 8th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
SILENCE OF THE LIMBS
Haunted by the memory of barren branches, a young Christmas tree decorator must confide in a manipulative ornament eater to catch another serial tree bark skinner making a tenenbaum suit.
on December 8th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
All I Want For Christmas
With his feuding parents on the verge of divorce, a young boy who desperately needs a kidney transplant asks Santa Claus to reunite his family.
on December 8th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Planet of the Elves
Astronauts crash land on a planet in the distant future where Santa’s elves are the dominant species and humans are forced to make Christmas toys.
on December 8th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
DECK THE HALL-OWEEN
Denied a spot on the good list after Santa delivers his presents two months early, naughty Michael Myers goes on a rampage breaking the other kids’ new toys.
on December 8th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Enter the Flagon
After conquering a crime lord’s island fortress, a battle-weary martial artist meets old friends and lovers for a few cups of Christmas cheer.
on December 8th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
A Midwinter Night’s Dream
In love with the wrong partners, two couples are finally brought together at a Christmas party thanks to the bungling work of Santa’s newest elf.
on December 8th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
RoboClaus
Nearly killed in an airplane collision, Santa is transformed into a powerful cyborg who combats the scourge of naughty children while harboring dim Christmas memories.
on December 8th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Plan
In his make-up 8th year at Hogwarts, Harry’s friends plan a huge Christmas surprise party that he misinterprets as the return of vanquished Lord Voldemort.
on December 8th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
The Sound of Muzak
A frisky, but failing Austrian nun becomes a governess for the seven children of a rigid, ex-Naval-officer widower, bringing merriment into their gloomy lives, and leading them in heart-felt Christmas songs that fill the air-waves for a thousand years.
on December 8th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
SLEIGH!
While on his trans-world Christmas Eve flight Santa falls horribly ill after eating the fish, leaving it up to a shell-shocked Rudolph to guide this wacky sleigh tonight.
on December 8th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
The First Elves Club
A trio of middle-aged, but spunky elves start a club aimed at taking revenge on an insensitive, overweight, bearded man whose toy-manufacturing empire they helped to build, but who then spurned them for younger, cheaper pixies.
on December 8th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
12/25/2012
On Christmas Day 2012, Santa Claus cancels Christmas, causing a global catastrophe, but the world’s children survive thanks to three giant government-built attics secretly filled with Christmas presents by their parents.
on December 8th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
The Toyminator
An unstoppable Brooklyn nerd travels from the future to kill Sarah Connor, whose son will prevent online games from becoming the only way people play.
on December 8th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
THE CURIOUS CASE OF FROSTY’S BUTTON NOSE
With a magic button nose that makes him grow younger, Frosty the Snowman fights to make sense of his backward life and meet his one true love Ilsa the Ice Princess half way in the middle.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:01 am
MILK & COOKIES FOR SANTA
Santa Clause is not coming to town, he’s just coming out when a chubby chasing gay politician leaves a snack laced with a date rape drug for the jolly ole elf.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:03 am
CHANGE JINGLING
A grief-stricken mother clings to the hope of finding her missing son and fights for her sanity when the authorities try to pass off an elf as her missing child.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:04 am
BALL-E
In the distant future, a small robotic tree ornament discovers true love with an angelic tree topper and inadvertently embarks on a space journey that will ultimately decide the fate of Christmas.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:05 am
REVOLUTIONARY LOAD
With his weight at an all time high, Santa vies for a spot on the reality show The Biggest Looser when he learns that Rudolph and company can no longer carry the load.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:06 am
GONE BABY GONE
Two shepherds take on the mean streets of Bethlehem risking their sanity and lives to find the missing baby Jesus.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:07 am
LE VIE EN NOSE
A singing reindeer made famous by his rose red nose battles a lifetime of adversity to become one of France’s most famous vocalists.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:08 am
REGALLY BLAND
A stylist to the stars struggles to give three fashion impaired magi a royal makeover in time for their journey to visit a new born king.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:10 am
DISENCHANTED
When a child unimpressed with the magic of Christmas grows up to become President, he sets out to criminalize the celebration of the beloved holiday until higher powers intervene.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:14 am
ST. NICK AND MENORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST
When a woman comes between two buddies, this Catholic/Jewish disc jockey team must fight to overcome their differences in time to play the biggest holiday gig and save their longtime friendship.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:15 am
GONE WITH THE WINTER
Jealous of Mrs. Claus, Scarlett O’Hare, the conniving wife of the Easter Bunny plots to move Christmas to the Spring and go head to head with Santa in a winner takes all holiday smack down.
on December 9th, 2009 at 12:17 am
HAIRY POOTER AND THE ODOR OF THE PEANUTS
When The Tooth Fairy leaves a bag of magic peanuts for Santa, the bearded jolly elf struggles to quietly make his rounds while suppressing a loud and smelly bout of gas.
on December 9th, 2009 at 4:00 am
SANTA SAWS
Haunted by his inevitable retirement, Santa abducts the five nicest children and forces them to undergo a series of yuletide elimination challenges wherein the winner will become the next Santa and the four losers can never again celebrate Christmas. (SAW)
on December 9th, 2009 at 4:50 am
MR. & MRS. CLAUSE
The Clause couple is pitted against one another when Rudolph’s long time infatuation for Mrs. Clause leads him to anonymously persuade her to take the reigns of a competing Holiday operation to outperform her jolly husband on the big day. (Mr. & Mrs. Smith)
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:20 am
Christmas Star Trek
Captain Kirk and Jesus Christ travel back in time, following the Christmas Star to Bethlehem, where Jesus Christ meets the Baby Jesus.
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Midnight Mass Run
On Christmas Eve, a backsliding ex-cop tracks down a church to bring his visiting mother to, as he does every Christmas when he suddenly becomes religious.
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Santa Claus: International Man of Giftery
A 1950s era Santa Claus is frozen and unfrozen in 2010 where he battles the sagging economy with stimulus gifts, his naive 1950s sensibilities out of place in today’s cynical society.
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Raging Bulb
A boxer with a violent temper rises to the top of the boxing world, but in the process destroys his home trying to put up the Christmas lights on his house.
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:24 am
REMEMBER THE ELVES
A true story about the integration of tall elves into the height discriminant toy making business. (Remember the Titans)
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:34 am
POLARFIELD
When a crazed Mrs. Clause attacks the North Pole, a group of elves run for their lives while documenting the onslaught with their home video camera. (Cloverfield)
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:45 am
THE CHRISTIAN REDEMPTION
After an unknown disciple discovers the Roman’s plot to crucify Christ, he sets out to save the Savior, oblivious to Jesus’ own plan to die and rise again. (The Shawshank Redemption)
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:51 am
12
Reindeer King Rudolph, part of the 12 Reindeers, fight against a life-threatening storm to deliver presents to more than one million houses. (300)
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:53 am
The Da Vinci Clause
The discovery of a coded letter to Santa penned by a young Leonardo D. Vinci prompts the Vatican into a ’stop at nothing’ hunt for Santa to get to the bottom of his bag!
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:57 am
THE PURSUIT OF JOLLYNESS
True story of a once-thin slacker who raised himself up to become a successful worldwide present delivery man. (The Pursuit of Happyness)
on December 9th, 2009 at 6:04 am
SANTA’S TWELVE
Santa and his 12 animal accomplices plan to deliver coal to the stockings of three Las Vegas casinos in one night. (Ocean’s 11)
on December 9th, 2009 at 7:16 am
E.T (Elf Terrestrial)
When Alfie, Santa’s chief elf, is accidentally left behind by the mothersleigh, he finds himself in a strange land full of strange people. A kind family of humans help the stranded Alfie return home to his native Lapland.
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:19 am
MANICURE ON 34TH STREET
When a pregnant manicurist claiming to be The Virgin Mary is declared insane, a young lovelorn lawyer risks everything to defend her by arguing in court that she is the real deal.
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:20 am
INTOLLERABLE YULETY
A gold digging pixie marries a womanizing North Pole lawyer and must survive a vicious Christmas when her plan to make a killing in the divorce goes amiss.
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:20 am
The Three Faces of Xmas Eve
North Pole psychiatrist, Dr Elfin, is called in to urgently treat Kris Kringle who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder. Will the doctor be able to reconcile the three faces of Xmas Eve before it’s too late?
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:22 am
IT’S A WONDERFUL PIPE
A lovelorn theater professor desperate to have a child gets her Christmas miracle in a big way when the college football team’s drafted to play the eleven piping pipers for the Twelve Days of Christmas Pageant.
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:32 am
A Touch of Claus
Serial womaniser, Kris Kringle, enjoys a night of burning passion in a romantic igloo in Lapland with the sexy divorcee, Holly. Will love finally melt his heart or will it freeze his nuts off? (A Touch of Class)
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:34 am
MY BIG FAT GREEK CHRISTMAS
An elf battling addiction risks his sobriety to lead a reconnaissance team to a college town where Santa’s gone wild with a group of hefty sorority girls in order to sober up the newest big man on campus and get Christmas back on track.
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Turkey Little
After ruining his reputation in the kitchen, a plucky turkey must come to the rescue of his fellow fowl when a vegetarian nut roast starts an invasion. (Chicken Little)
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Dead Reindeer Society
Flying instructor, Professor Sky, inspires his student reindeers to a love of flight and teaches them how to seize the night.
(Dead Poets Society)
on December 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am
The Bi-Polar Express
Christmas is under threat as Santa battles extreme sleigh swings from the highs of the North Pole to the lows of the South Pole. Can he get his sleigh under control and get back on the right track in time to deliver the presents?
(The Polar Express)
on December 9th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Land of the Midnight Pun
Tempting family scorn and common decency, a group of screenwriters hungry for swag and glory create hundreds of holiday oriented riffs on well-known movie loglines.
on December 9th, 2009 at 10:54 am
A Nightmare on Elf Street
Freddy Krueger is back this holiday season, haunting the dreams of children everywhere. He meets his match against kindness and joy when he runs up against Santa’s team of clever elves.
on December 9th, 2009 at 10:54 am
HANUKKAH AND HER SISTERS
Between two Hanukkah parties, three really screwed up Jewish sisters grapple with the meaning of existence by sleeping with each other’s spouses.
on December 9th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
The Big Lebowski’s Christmas
Strapped for cash, The Dude and Walter take jobs as Santa Clause at a local department store. When a kid goes missing, The duo signs up to find him. Problem is, they become suspects in the kidnapping when a ransom note shows up with The Dude’s last name on it.
on December 9th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Citizen Candy Kane
Through newsreels we get to know the wealthy candy factory owner, Citizen Candy Kane. He is a man who waited all his life for Santa to bring him a childhood sleigh named “Rosebud”. He finds meaning in life and Christmas when Santa explains why he never brought him his request.
on December 9th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
(rewrite)
ALICE IN WINTER WONDERLAND
Alice follows a white otter down a hole in the North Pole where she encounters a surreal world populated by strange creatures, including an unhappy reindeer with a nose that glows, a frosted man running amuck with a broomstick, and a partridge in a pear tree. When a bizarre snowman named Parson Brown tries to marry her, Alice makes her escape shouting, “You’re nothing but a block of ice!”
on December 9th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
I, Reindeer (I,Robot with Will Smith)
It’s 2012 and Reindeer, having evolved into uppity, bling-covered creatures, have become a critical threat to Christmas. An animal-phobic, penny-pinching cop must enter into the upscale, tony malls to convince the reindeer that it really is better to give than to receive.
on December 9th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Wizard of Oz Christmas
An unhappy, unappreciative teenage girl is caught in a snowstorm and whisked from Kansas to the North Pole, where, on her quest to return home, she discovers happiness and the enchantment of Christmas by encountering magical elves and reindeer.
on December 9th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
RUDOLPH
Five months before reindeer tryouts, social outcast “Rudy”, trains amid the name-calling and bigotry for a prized spot on the Christmas Eve sleigh pulling team. (Rudy)
on December 9th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Tommy Claus - After his dad chokes on a frosted gingerbread cookie the night before Christmas, inept but well-meaning Tommy Claus must save Christmas. Hijinks ensue as Tommy Claus squashes presents, wrecks the sleigh, and devastates a chimney, to the complete disgust of his smarmy Elf copilot.
on December 9th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
A Few Good Elves – When a North Pole hazing exercise goes tragically wrong; the elves are left with one dead toy maker and one inevitable question: Who ordered the Code Red? The answer may lead them farther they anyone could expect… jingling the bells of Old St. Nick.
on December 10th, 2009 at 1:03 am
Hi Everybody,
Who else out there has spent a little too much time coming up with these jewels? I know I have. I’m done. Here’s some leftover title I came up with that are yours for the taking. Get your loglines on! I look forward to reading what you come up with. Happy Holidays! Miss ya, Blake!
Reindeers Of The Lost Ark
Disney-Pixar’s Up On The Rooftop
The Twelve Monkeys Of Christmas
The Fifth Ornament
We Three King Kongs
The Usual Suspects Christmas
Million Dollar Baby Jesus
Goodhelpers
The Sixth Frankincense
Fried Green Toymakers
E.T.T. - The Extra-Terrestrial Toymaker
Toytanic
on December 10th, 2009 at 5:47 am
“Brokeback Mounted”
“It came upon a midnight queer”
on December 10th, 2009 at 6:02 am
I’m going to collaborate one with RJ
“Million Dollar Baby Jesus”
Knocks Em out with
“Get yourself some Peace on Earth and good will to Screenwriters”
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:13 am
AVE LAS VEGAS
Elfish goes to Las Vegas in the hopes of winning the city’s first Christmas hymn competition, but when he is distracted by a curvaceous choir instructor, he mislays the money needed to buy a tight costume, and is forced to work in the casino as a singing waiter. Will he lose the contest, the girl he loves, and his soul?
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:15 am
SANTA ALWAYS RINGS TWICE
Forgetting to ring his sleighbells a second time, Santa comes home to find Mrs. Claus jingling the bells of a seedy drifter, and plotting to dispatch Santa and take over his delivery business.
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Me too, I’m finished!
Here are some left-over titles:
They Shoot Reindeers, Don’t They?
What’s it All About, Elfie?
The Good, the Naughty, and the Nice
Christmas Party Crashers
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:41 am
And the last rewrite. Happy holidays!
RUDY
The inspirational, true story of a diminutive, working-class reindeer who went down in history for his gritty persistence in the face of insurmountable odds — including the taunts of his sleigh-mates and a ridiculous nose — and fulfilled his dream of guiding Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve.
on December 10th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Free Wallie
Recycles junk for the Christmas ORCAsion
on December 10th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Sleigh’s of Thunder
{to music}
Oh what fun is Santas race in a horse powered Cheverolet
on December 10th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
RED GREEN VELVET
A young boy finds an elf ear on his living room floor Christmas morning. He decides to investigate and discovers a hidden, dark side to Christmas when he meets a man known as St. Nick.
on December 10th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Santa Mia
Dances with Elves and Reindeer while they try so hard to sing.
on December 10th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
“Snyder House Yules”
[adapted from true stories]
The”CAT”rides with Santa
with his lives nine
I sense him in our sentences
and see him between the line
on December 10th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
I Am Legend
Years after commercialism destroys Christmas and transforms humanity into shopping addicts, Santa Claus hides in New York City and struggles valiantly to find a cure.
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
No, Virginia
After her drunken father says there is no Santa Claus, an impoverished small-town girl journeys to the Mall of America in search of the truth.
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
SANTA MONTANA: THE MOVIE
St. Nick’s flipped his lid and wearing a blonde wig. Now the elves must bring the boss home to keep their jobs and save Christmas when a midlife crisis sends Santa on a quest to become the newest teen pop superstar.
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
REMAINS OF THE SLEIGH
A shady mechanic must choose between a quick buck or making a homeless kid’s Christmas wish come true when St. Nick’s sleigh is jacked and finds its way into his South Central chop shop.
on December 10th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
BROKE SACK MOUNTAIN
Two hobby horse elves spend the rest of their lives coming to terms with forbidden love they discovered one summer rounding up stray presents from Santa’s broken sack of long forgotten toys.
on December 10th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
WAR OF THE NOSES
Glowing red ball or pointy orange carrot; that’s the big question as Rudolph and Frosty duke it out for the title of Hottest Holiday Honker in the most vicious reality TV show the North Pole has ever seen.
on December 10th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
SURE LOCK HOMES
A sleuthing locksmith fights to prove he’s not the Christmas Crook when a millionaire’s insurance fraud scam leaves him ho-ho-holding the bag.
on December 10th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
RAID IN MANHATTAN
A loafing toy store employee on the verge of being fired proves to be management’s best hope in solving the mystery of a holiday snatch and grab that leaves FAO Schwartz an empty shell.
on December 10th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
MISTLETOE CONGENIALITY
Agent Gracie Hart must choose between love and duty when she discovers a homegrown terrorist’s plan to bomb the FBI’s speed dating Christmas party may be the work of her former superior for whom she still has feelings.
on December 10th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
HELLO, HOLLY!
Based on the Broadway musical, Holly Levi, A Jewish matchmaker travels to NYC for the holidays and fights to separate business from pleasure when she falls in love with the married father of her client, Kelly Claus.
on December 11th, 2009 at 3:25 am
S’no Country for Old Santas
One moonless night, Santa crash-lands in the Vegas desert. The notorious Elves Eleven steal everything leaving Santa with nothing in the middle of nowhere. Gambling on the good will men and Elves alike, Santa tracks them down. It’s a merry fight for life in a land where death prevails.
on December 11th, 2009 at 10:47 am
C.H.U.D. (Christmas Holiday Underground Destroyers)
With Christmas-related vandalism about to destroy the holiday, a group of courageous oddballs ventures into the sewers to find and stop the grotesquely grouchy perpetrators.
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:37 am
The Christmas Date (The Wedding Date)
On Christmas Eve a techno-phobic, relationship-adverse, free-spirited astrologer is dateless for her snobbish Mother’s lavish Christmas dinner. Following her stars, and magical intervention, she seeks out a stranger near home, at the neighborhood starbucks. Pleasing mom requires her to coerce an Armani clad, blue-tooth wearing and an annoyingly just-too-perfect-looking man to accompany her; teaching her the true meaning of “it’s in the stars”.
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:39 am
The Christmas Date (The Wedding Date)
On Christmas Eve a techno-phobic, free-spirited astrologer is dateless for her snobbish Mother’s lavish Christmas dinner. Following her stars she seeks out a stranger near home. Pleasing mom requires her to coerce an Armani clad, blue-tooth wearing, annoyingly too-perfect-looking man to accompany her, who teaches her the true meaning of “it’s in the stars”.
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:57 am
The Christmas Date (The Wedding Date)
On Christmas Eve a free-spirited astrologer is dateless for her Mother’s lavish Christmas dinner. Following her stars, and three wise men, she seeks out a man mother would approve of to accompany her.
on December 12th, 2009 at 9:02 am
The Christmas Date (The Wedding Date)
On Christmas Eve a free-spirited astrologer is dateless for her Mother’s lavish Christmas dinner. Following her stars, and three wise men, she seeks out a date mother would approve of.
on December 12th, 2009 at 11:07 am
WHYLIGHT
A family of vegan vampires into decorating for the holidays fight to protect their son and his human girlfriend when a trio of humbugs take exception with their excessive holiday light display.
on December 12th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Santa Claus vs. MechaGodzilla
Annoyed by Japanese resistance to Christmas, radiation-enhanced Santa Claus challenges a towering metal cyborg for control of Tokyo’s hearts, minds and shopping malls.
on December 12th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
No Country For Old Trees
Explores the emotional tragedies of discarded Christmass tress.
on December 12th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
MILLION DOLLAR BABY JESUS (Thanks RJ)
The three kings who run a public speaking seminar in Jerusalem are approached by child Jesus who’s determined to become the most influential prophet in history. (Million Dollar Baby)
on December 12th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
CHRISTMAS THE 25TH
After being burned to death in a fireplace, Santa Clause embarks on a murderous rampage throughout festive homes on the dark morning of Christmas. (Friday the 13th)
on December 12th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
NEWBORN IDENTITY
After a child is born to a carpenter, he races to discover who his real father is, while uncovering a forgotten identity as the second person of the Trinity. (Bourne Identity)
on December 12th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
SOUND OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC
After discovering the danger of a possible Christmas-less December, a woman risks a career in training the tone deaf elves to sing their Christmas hymns amidst a world void of any Christmas spirit; to win back Christmas. (Sound of Music)
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE DREIDEL
A magical babysitter takes her charges on a journey to the wondrous land of Hanukkah. (Mary Poppins and The Hand That Rocks the Cradle)
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
SNOWMAN ON FIRE
After his corncob pipe is stolen by pranksters an inflamed Frosty decides to hunt the thieves down, but he must show them *his* idea of fun before the anger makes him melt away.
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
WEIRD CHRISTMAS
Tired of being doormats two nerdy high-schoolers use a magical computer to create their very own wish granting Santa Claus, but when St. Nick’s magic gets used for naughty purposes, they must learn that nice guys sometimes finish first before they both end up with coal in their stockings.
on December 12th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
(500) POSTS OF CHRISTMAS
An aspiring screenwriter falls in love with pithy Christmas logline contest entries over the course of 499 posts. Great job everyone!
on December 13th, 2009 at 12:28 am
INVITEUS
A family of boring party killers desperate to attend a holiday get-together must prove their innocence when their campaign to score an invitation leads to the soiree from hell and case of murder.
on December 13th, 2009 at 12:39 am
THE LOVELY COLOGNES
A ghostly perfumer mixes new scents for cheap holiday fragrance gift sets from “the in-between” after a cologne factory explosion sends the family business on the skids.
on December 14th, 2009 at 3:01 am
WHITE SANTAS CAN’T JUMP
Following the mysterious disappearance of Santa a week from Christmas, a replacement is urgently sought. With rooftop courts and chimney hoops, the ‘Santa’ jump-off is on. Will the speed of Santa wannabe White Top, prevail against the mighty slam-dunk of Slayer. Are the whispers true, that White Santas Can’t Jump?
on December 14th, 2009 at 5:59 am
The Blake House
A group of ambitious writers desperate to win the Christmas ‘Save the Cat’ Logline Contest 2009, hold a seance at Blake’s house in the hopes of receiving log-line ideas from his spirit! (The Lake House)
on December 14th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Sleighs Of Thunder
An ageing Mr. Clause recruits a reckless Nascar rookie to help speed up deliveries.
on December 14th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
The Exercist
After her débutante daughter is freighted with mysterious post-Christmas flab, a fashion-conscious actress seeks the help of two fearsome personal trainers to save her.
on December 14th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Cold Hand Luke
Sent to America’s northernmost prison, an escape-minded prisoner discovers that the biting cold outside the walls heightens the Christmas warmth within.
on December 15th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
NIGHT OF THE CHRISTMAS BRATS
Zombie children from around the country are making their way toward Santa’s workshop. The brave and dutiful Santa with his team of resourceful elves must board up the windows and defend themselves to save Christmas.
on December 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
NORTH BY NORTHPOLE
A shrewd ad executive is mistaken for Santa Clause by a group of evil Gremlins. He must outsmart them and find the real Santa Clause in order to clear his name.
on December 15th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
2012’s Christmas Vacation:
A deadbeat dad must win back the admiration of his children by taking them on a Christmas day tour of the world’s greatest wonders before the nefarious Ebenezer Scrooge accomplishes his holiday plan of global destruction.
on December 15th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
MARIA FULL OF GRACE
A pregnant teen travels from Nazareth to Bethlehem while trying to escape King Herod’s soldiers, who want to retrieve the Messiah-child from her belly.
on December 16th, 2009 at 5:09 am
TWELVE ANGRY SNOWMEN - When Frosty the Snowman goes on trial for the ice-pick massacre, one snowman must convince his fellow jurors of the man’s innocence and save him from the Melt Penalty.
on December 16th, 2009 at 5:12 am
BETHLEHEM HILLS CHIHUAHUA - Heavily pregnant chiuhuahua Mary has just hours to find a kennel for the night and save her unborn brood from the wrath of the King Charles spaniel, intent on drowning all puppies under the age of two months.
on December 16th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
RUN SANTA RUN
A jolly fat man clad in a unique red-and-white suit has twenty minutes to find his magical flying reindeer-led red sleigh and deliver a boatload of presents before Christmas Day.
on December 16th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
THE XMAS BOX
On Christmas Day, a small gifted-wrapped box arrives on the doorstep of extremely nice and behaved brother and sister pair, who know that opening it will grant them any gift in the universe they desire and kill someone close to them before New Year’s Eve.
on December 16th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
THE XMAS BOX
On Christmas Day, a small gifted-wrapped box arrives on the doorstep of an extremely nice and behaved brother and sister pair, who know that opening it will grant them any gift in the universe they desire and kill someone close to them before New Year’s Eve. (THe Box)
on December 16th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
REQUIEM FOR A CHRISTMAS DREAM
The Christmas wishes of four nice children are shattered when their ADHD impulses spiral out of control.
on December 16th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
GI SNOW: RISE OF THE FROZEN
An elite military unit battling to liberate an army of mutant elves fight for survival when they become the newest specimens for alien experimentation in the Artic Circle.
on December 16th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
THE BLAND SIDE
When her Christmas dinner’s a bust, an uppity rich white woman is taken in by a sassy Memphis chef who teaches her the secrets of cooking soul food, propelling her to win a scholarship to the Culinary Institute of America.
on December 16th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
COLD DOGS
Just as they are about to expand their hot dog business into frozen frankfurters, two buddies learn what’s important in life when they are unexpectedly charged with caring for seven year old twins whom one of them may have fathered.
on December 16th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
CORPSE GUIDE
A drunk rent-a-Santa practicing his ho ho ho’s in front of a stuffed elk at the Museum of Natural History struggles to get sober when the beast rises from the dead believing he is Rudolph.
on December 16th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
MALICE IN WINTER WONDERLAND
An outcast elf stumbles into a snow bunny hole and embarks on a fantastical Christmas journey where he must fight to put an end to the Queen of Hearts’ plot to overthrow Santa.
on December 16th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
THE DISPOSAL
To legally live at the North Pole and keep her job as Santa’s storybook editor an overbearing sprite forces her elf assistant into a marriage of convenience when her work visa is accidentally shredded in the kitchen disposal.
on December 16th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
THE BAKE HOUSE
A gingerbread man and a Christmas cookie caught in a time warp fight to unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary romance before their lives crumble along with the gingerbread house that draws them together.
on December 16th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
JAMES AND THE GIANT CRECHE
An orphan with terrible aunts for guardians, befriends a set of nativity figures who come to life and travel to New York City for Christmas in a giant flying manger.
on December 16th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
A CHRISTMAS MERYL
After ghostly visitations and a case of vodka, a film actress with two Oscars and ten nominations offers an award winning performance to prove she’s learned the true meaning of Christmas.
on December 16th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
GOODWILL BUNTING
A mathematical angel working as a janitor at MIT struggles to escape from a South Boston neighborhood and find meaningful work hanging Christmas decorations.
on December 16th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I LOVE YOU, SNOWMAN
A recently engaged Frosty fights to save his relationship and impending nuptials when his quest to find a male friend to be his best snowman gives him a new perspective.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
LEATHERREDS
The elves struggle to get Santa back on track after a frustrated Mrs. Claus orders a red leather outfit and barrel of Viagra putting the toy making schedule months behind.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
MRS. CLAUS WEARS NADA
In the sequel to LEATHERREDS a wonton Mrs. Clause goes eau natural in a last ditch effort to get her jollies from the jolly ole elf, but when she catches Frosty’s black coal eye the stage is set for one nasty divorce.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
SMOKIN’ ARSES
When a bratty pyromaniac in London plays a practical joke, Santa is hospitalized with third degree burns and Stanley, St. Nick’s untested intern must spring into action to save Christmas for the rest of the world.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
THE THIN RED DESIGN
A mob financed fashion designer fights to rescue Mrs. Clause and save Christmas when her investors kidnap St. Nick’s wife forcing her to become a plus size model for a line of slimming red swimwear for seniors.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
ANGELS AND NEIMAN’S
Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is called upon to solve the mystery of angelic beings wielding credit cards and the meaning of the gifts they attempt to purchase at a high end retailer during the holiday season.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
BRAVING PRIVATE ZION
A CIA operative en route to Bethlehem to celebrate Christmas Eve Mass joins forces with a Mossad special agent to save a tour bus of pilgrims from an American terrorist who thinks he is the Messiah.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
SNOWMEN WHO STARE AT COATS
When a reporter desperate for a Pulitzer discovers a special military unit whose goal is to control winter through psychic powers, he must race to save a dirty snowman, his only reliable source before he melts.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
SNOWY WITH A CHANCE OF MATZO BALLS
It’s Channukah and the weather outside is frightful when a boy’s invention to end world hunger goes haywire. Now he has eight days to fix his food machine before he looses the nice Jewish weathergirl covering the event that his Bubbe has picked for him to marry.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
THE LIGHT RUNNER
A dysfunctional family on the verge of splitting resorts to some extreme holiday decorating therapy and must take on their stuffy neighborhood association when their holiday display turns their quiet gated community into Little Tijuana.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
FRIED GREEN TOYMAKERS
Production slows when Santa’s helpers go on strike demanding more magic brownies after a rival toymaker sends a pill popping cook fresh out of rehab to the North Pole’s kitchen.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
BECAUSE I SAID HO
An overbearing mother trying to imitate Santa fights to keep Christmas dinner from becoming a free for all when her three daughters mistakenly hear their mother call them sluts.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
CONFESSIONS OF A SWAPAHOLIC
Dissatisfied with every Christmas present, a hard to please mother spends the entire month of February retrieving every gift she returned before her children who gave them to her come home for a surprise visit.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
CONFESSIONS OF A SHEEPAHOLIC
A Bethlehem shepherd in therapy for a disturbing addiction fights to maintain his sobriety when he is left alone by his co-workers watching the flocks by night after an angelic appearance.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
NOTORIOUS PLASTERDS
A group of drinking buddies famous for their boozing spend the days between Christmas and New Year’s Day trying to remember the holiday they seem to have forgotten.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I LOVE YOU, POOP SCOOPER
A nerdy elf struggles to survive the best night of his life when he proclaims his love for the hottest and most popular poop scooping pixie in the North Pole during Santa’s annual speech.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
DRAG ME TO NOEL
A holiday hating loan officer ordered to evict an old woman from her home on Christmas eve fights to overcome a magical curse that turns her life into an endless Yule Tide celebration driving her to insanity.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
(500) DAYS OF DRUMMER
Unable to stop the beat and leave Bethlehem, The Little Drummer Boy falls for a young maiden who doesn’t believe in love.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
GIFT FAMILY ROBINSON
When their spacecraft is crippled by a meteor shower, a pioneering space family marooned on Venus must use Christmas gifts intended for family back on earth to fend of greedy extra terrestrials.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
THAWING NEMO
An overprotective clown fish father teams up with a polar bear and a scuba diving elf to save his runaway pubescent son from the belly of an Albacore tuna in an Alaskan cannery in time to celebrate Christmas.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
BALLS OF FLURRY
Frosty’s dead and his son Flurry the Snowman, a down-and-out former professional ping-pong phenom fights to regain his title in order to freeze out his father’s killer.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
ALL THE RIGHT HOOVES
A sexy reindeer desperate for a chance to dance with the Rockettes fights to escape her fate as a member of Santa’s sled team harem and make her way south to The Big Apple.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
DREAMGOYALS
Three past their prime Jewish American princesses from Jersey battle weight, jealousy and unsupportive families to resurrect their Motown singing act and perform in the Boca Raton Eight Days of Hanukah Festival.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
THE LATKE HOUSE
A nice Jewish girl and a Gentile spud farmer caught in a time warp fight to unravel the mystery behind their love of potato pancakes before the end of Hanukah.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
WHERE THE WILD KINGS ARE
A mischievous shepherd boy fond of practical jokes is sent to bed without his supper and creates an imaginary comedy club filled with Magi performing stand up who crown him as their ruler.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
HIGH PLAINS REGIFTER
An elf bearing recycled gifts comes to a small Midwestern town and is hired to bring the townsfolk together in an attempt to hold off three bankers out to steal Christmas.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
LOINS AND LAMBS
When a butcher in a small Greek community tracks down a thief threatening to make Christmas dinner a meatless affair, he must choose between duty and love after learning the bandit is his vegan daughter.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
GOOD FLIGHT AND GOOD SCHMUCK
WWII is raging and the flu threatens to keep Santa from making his rounds until a witless elf is pressed into service and takes on the Luftwaffe to ensure the children of Europe are not forgotten on Christmas morning.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE ORGANS?
A timid church song leader fights to stop a Christmas Grinch’s sinister plan to sabotage every church organ in a small town set to host a holiday music festival.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
A CHRISTMAS FERAL
A stray cat takes a miserly old woman on a journey into the past present and future and teaches her the true meaning of Christmas.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
PUP IN THE AIR
The mayor of Christmas Town fights to keep the existence of his metropolis secret after Santa’s pet Chihuahua Mistletoe draws the attention of the US Army during an accidental joyride in Santa’s sleigh.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
THE RED AND GREEN MILE
When Christmas conjugal visits are cancelled, two jailers working on death row must fight for their lives when they are caught in the crossfire of a prison riot.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
FAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF
Santa brings an alcoholic ex-football player and his wanton wife together embarking on a new career as a marriage counselor after overhearing a Christmas eve domestic disturbance on a Mississippi plantation.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
MONTY PYTHON AND THE AFTER CHRISTMAS SALE
A Christmas miracle brings King Arthur and his round table knights to life in modern day Manhattan where they must defeat a brigade of bargain basement banshees out to steal the holy sale.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
THE LAST OF THE MOJITOS
When Santa is kidnapped from an Acapulco resort, special agent Tensel Washington is brought in to solve the crime and insure a Feliz Navidad for all the children of the Southern Hemisphere.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
TO CATCH A WREATH
A hard boiled cop near retirement pursues a florist accused of stealing and re-selling Christmas decorations in order to solve the case of the holiday heister.
on December 16th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
BUYER, BUYER
When a cash strapped husband asks Santa for one wish, his shopaholic wife is left unable to make a purchase for twenty-four hours and struggles to take advantage of the after Christmas sales.
on December 17th, 2009 at 7:31 am
LITTLE TOY SHOP OF HORRORS
A jovial obese fellow discovers his chance for world-wide admiration and personal merriment with the help of a magical man-eating red sliegh that delivers more than just toys to holiday recipients.
on December 17th, 2009 at 10:14 am
MISTLETOE
A desperate and determined man suffers from a mistletoe mishap that has left him with only a short term memory. Through a series of hand written notes and tattoos, he must piece together the incident which made his wife run off with another man Christmas morning.
(MEMENTO)
on December 17th, 2009 at 10:26 am
RAGING BUCK
Rudolph is a lifesaver when it comes to pulling Santa’s sleigh on stormy nights; but a handful to deal with when the weather is good. Santa decides to keep him in the stable for Christmas but the headstrong Rudolph has other ideas.
(RAGING BULL)
on December 17th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Checking it Twice: Blank Check 2 (Revised from previous post.)
By accident, again, 13-year-old Preston is given a blank Christmas list with seven wishes from a runaway mobster in an elf costume and when Preston fills it out, he is able to get what he asks for!
on December 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
SANTA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
After an elf revolt, Santa is forced to leave the North Pole. But not to fear, he’s soon offered the chance to form a chocolate-toymaking monopoly with legendary chocolatier, Willy Wonka. Their plan to dominate the pocketbooks of parents around the world is put into jeopardy when the elves attack the chocolate factory…and every oompa loompa must fight for himself.
on December 17th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
25 DAYS
Santa’s crashed his sleigh while drunk and is given an ultimatum to clean up his act by Christmas. While in rehab, he reviews his life and discovers that December brings with it a serious drinking problem.
on December 17th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
CHRISTMAS CRASHERS
A couple of long time friends meet girls by crashing Christmas parties. Things change when one of them meets a beautiful, untouchable woman with the last name of Cringle.
on December 17th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
INDIANA JONES: THE QUEST TO SAVE SANTA’S KITTEN
Dashing Professor Indian Jones is back to prevent the criminally vile Doctor Houndzentz from unleashing his deadly ‘Felinus Pooferous’ germ that makes cats explode! Can Indiana win the heart-pounding race to the North Pole to save Santa’s kitten in time to save Christmas?
on December 17th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
INDIANA JONES: THE QUEST TO SAVE SANTA’S KITTEN
Dashing Professor Indiana Jones is back to prevent the criminally vile Doctor Houndzentz from unleashing his deadly ‘Felinus Pooferous’ germ that makes cats explode! Can Indiana win the heart-pounding race to the North Pole to save Santa’s kitten in time to save Christmas?
on December 17th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
SCHOOL OF JINGLE BELL ROCK
A slacker bell ringing elf conceals his identity posing as a substitute teacher in order to live his rock and roll fantasy and turn his conservative prep school students into the ultimate holiday band.
on December 18th, 2009 at 8:54 am
AVAMARIATAR
It’s the Christmas season and Maria a paraplegic nun dispatched to modern day Bethlehem must choose between shutting down her order’s bankrupt convent and protecting the urchins who call it home.
on December 18th, 2009 at 9:03 am
NINE
Back biting and jealousy threaten to destroy Santa’s sleigh team when an aspiring movie director elf with only a week left before Christmas announces he will choose one of nine reindeer to star in his soon to be filmed biopic.
on December 18th, 2009 at 9:13 am
A CHRISTMAS CHORAL
The superstitious director of a traveling all men’s chorus struggles to make sense of three ghostly visitations warning of impending doom if his annual Christmas concert tour goes on as planned.
on December 18th, 2009 at 9:27 am
CALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS
A fashion designer on the skids struggling to complete his holiday collection discovers inspiration in a trio of upstart super model chipmunks who breath life into his faltering clothing and fragrance empire.
on December 18th, 2009 at 9:35 am
PARANORMAL FESTIVITY
After moving into a suburban Bethlehem apartment, a couple becomes increasingly disturbed by a nightly angelic presence celebrating Christmas.
on December 18th, 2009 at 9:48 am
THE RED AND GREEN ZONE
An elf with a conspiracy theory complex fights to prove his sanity in time to diffuse a plot to blow up Santa’s workshop and destroy a ticking gift of mass destruction.
on December 18th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Kris Kringle : THIS IS IT!
Kris Kringle’s THIS IS IT documentary will offer Santa fans and pressie lovers worldwide a rare, behind-the-scenes look as he prepares for his very last Christmas before hanging up his boots and retiring into a life of anonymity.
on December 18th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
JESUS CHRIST SANTASTAR - When Bethlehem hosts a reality TV show to find the new Messiah, rumours of vote-rigging threaten to de-throne the newly-crowned Kind of the Jews.
on December 18th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
TURKEY STORY - Prize turkey has his beak put out of joint when farmer’s son is given prize new cock for Christmas.
on December 18th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
THE FAST AND THE HURRIEST
Three wise men race across the deadly Eastern land for a chance to impress the newborn King with their individual gifts. (The Fast and the Furious)
on December 18th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
I Know What You Did Last Christmas
It has been a year since four drunken reindeer ran over Grandma. Now they are being terrorized by an annoymous killer.
on December 18th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Abominable Snowman - (Alien)
Santa’s elves have spent countless weeks getting Christmas presents ready in Santa’s workshop. Just as Christmas approaches and Santa’s sleigh has been packed with presents ready to be delivered, the elves discovered some strange snowmen in the workshop and investigate.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:06 am
THE BLIZZARD OF OZ
Dorothy, a naïve elf struggles to find her way home to the North Pole when she is blown away in a blizzard to a magical land called Oz.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:06 am
AL MARSCAPONE
An elf working at the North Pole dairy must defend himself against attempted assassination charges when his Christmas cream cheese is sabotaged leaving Santa with a near fatal case of food poisoning.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:07 am
TOYTAL RECALL
A toy train set from Santa’s workshop hit’s the rails to prove he has not been recalled when a Christmas hating bureaucrat raises questions about the lead levels of his paint job.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:09 am
TOYTAL RECALL (sans typo)
A toy train set from Santa’s workshop hits the rails to prove he has not been recalled when a Christmas hating bureaucrat raises questions about the lead levels of his paint job.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:13 am
HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ELVES
A nutty elf races to return Santa’s workforce back to normal size before Christmas eve when his shrinking invention leads to the production of microscopic toys.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:13 am
PATENT TRAP
A lawyer elf fights to save Christmas when a slick attorney hired by a floundering toy company sues Santa for patent infringement.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:14 am
THE JINGLE BOOK
When news arrives that hunters are near, an elfin boy raised by Arctic wolves is sent to live at the North Pole and must rally Santa and the elves to help save his wolf family.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:15 am
QUEASY RIDER
A stowaway on Santa’s sleigh battles nausea and is forced to take the reins when St. Nick unwittingly becomes part of a US Air Force training exercise over the Arctic Circle and is taken into custody.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:16 am
SWINDLER’S LIST
Santa fights to clear his name when a crook dressed liked the jolly ole elf steals a NYC charity’s holiday contributions.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:17 am
THE FLYING GAME
A grounded angel on the verge of being expelled must earn back his wings by doing good on earth as a human in time to join the heavenly host of Bethlehem.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:18 am
DEEP GLUE SEA
Two lifelong elf buddies working in Santa’s assembly plant find themselves in a sticky situation when improperly mixed adhesives cause Christmas to fall apart testing the strength of their bond.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:19 am
SANNY MC FEE
Disguised as a homely British woman, Santa embarks on a career as a nanny to seven bratty children and uses magic to change them from naughty to nice.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:20 am
THE FEAST AND THE FURIOUS
A cop with anger issues goes undercover to infiltrate a culinary club responsible for stealing over a million dollars worth of restaurant equipment in preparation for a Christmas dinner cook off benefiting a policeman’s charity.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:21 am
WHEN A MANGER CALLS
Tired of answering guest complaints, a teenager running the front desk of a Bethlehem inn ignores a couple’s calls for emergency assistance putting the fate of humanity at risk.
on December 19th, 2009 at 1:22 am
REINDEER DAMES
Tired of living in the shadows of their famous husbands, the wives of Santa’s reindeer challenge their spouses to a competition to see who will guide the big man’s ride this year.
on December 19th, 2009 at 2:34 am
Dancer with Wolves
Forced into a season of exile for diva behaviour, prima-donna reindeer Dancer, befriends a North Pole tribe of Inuits and embarks on a journey of self-discovery with the help of her new wolf friend, Two-Fangs.
on December 19th, 2009 at 2:51 am
Macbethlehem
Returning home from a hard day’s work in the field, local farmer Mac meets three wise men who tell him of the imminent birth of a new prize-winning cow in Bethlehem, threatening Mac’s quest to win the reality TV show, King of the Farm.
on December 19th, 2009 at 6:22 am
Paralytic Activity
On their first Christmas Eve as a new family, a young couple are extremely disturbed by a drunken presence in their home in the middle of the night that may or may not be Santa!
on December 19th, 2009 at 6:59 am
AVASTAR (Avatar)
The Star of Bethlehem has been hijacked by the humanoid tribe, Na’tivity, in an attempt to redirect the Wise Men away from Bethlehem and thus prevent the birth of Jesus being announced to the World.
on December 19th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Macbethlehem (Revised Version)
Returning home from a hard day’s work in the field, local farmer Mac meets three shepherds who tell him of the birth of a new prize-winning lamb in Bethlehem, threatening Mac’s quest to win the reality TV show ‘King of the Farm’.
on December 19th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
XXXMAS
Xander Cage is an extreme sports athelete recruited by the Holy Family to protect Jesus from King Herod. (xXx)
on December 19th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Citzen Claus
Christopher Claus is a complicated man whose life has been full of excessive toy buying, year round red velvet clothing, and international travel. After his death, more questions exist than answers, which are up to a journalist named Virginia to unravel, especially of his last words: “Rudolph.”
on December 19th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Santa’s Gotta Give (something’s gotta give)
Santa, living through his midlife crisis, is narcissitic, selfish, and all things- not Christmas. While chasing his mojo, and every woman under 30, he has his heart opened by an altruisitic, middle aged brunette who is the
director of the local orphanage.
on December 19th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Scrooge (Hook)
Christopher Claus has forgotten who he is, which keeps him tied to the materialistic world of keeping up with the Jones and neglect of his family. When his children are kidnapped by Scrooge, a rogue criminal mastermind, he must recall all the magic he buried to regain his family and himself.
on December 19th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
How To Make him Propose by Christmas (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)
A womanizer bets his friends he can stay in the same relationship throughout the Holiday season. He winds up getting much more than he bargained for when the woman he chooses is determined to have him propose by Christmas day.
on December 19th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Gail Lorraine Gibson Says:
on December 19th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
How To Make him Propose by Christmas (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)
A womanizer bets his friends he can stay in the same relationship throughout the Holiday season. He winds up getting much more than he bargained for when the woman he chooses is deadly determined to have him propose by Christmas day.
on December 19th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Joy to Her World
A barren, divorced and lonely childrens’ book author discovers a joyful life filled with magic, romance, and children while tracing her runaway sister to the North Pole.
(Romancing the Stone)
on December 19th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Santa’s Gotta Give (something’s gotta give)
Santa, living through his midlife crisis, is narcissitic, selfish, and a self professed scrooge. While chasing his mojo, and every woman under 30, he has his heart opened by an altruisitic, middle aged director of the local orphanage.
on December 19th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
YES MOM
A pushover soccer mom pushes her family to the edge of bankruptcy because she just can’t say no to her spoiled kids’ Christmas present requests. (Yes Man)
on December 19th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
JOY TO THE WORLD LUCK CLUB
A group of recovering gambling addicts pool their resources for one last lottery ticket and struggle with their new found fortune when they hit the jackpot on Christmas morning.
on December 19th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
MONSTERS vs EPISCOPALIANS
A meteorite from space transforms a group of elderly Episcopalians into giant monsters who must combat an alien invasion of Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
on December 19th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
ICE STAGE
A group of former ice skating champions down on their luck try to recapture their former glory days when they band together to stage Kwanza on Ice to benefit the children of a dangerous Chicago federal housing development.
on December 19th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VOCATION
Newly unemployed, the Griswolds discover the spirit of giving is in fact dead as they struggle to make ends meet when their temporary holiday jobs abruptly end.
on December 19th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
THE ROLLER EXPRESS
Sick of Christmas cheer, Mrs. Claus hops a train and escapes her misery when she joins a roller derby league in Austin, Texas.
on December 19th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
SCROOGED IN BATON ROUGE
After judging a gumbo cook off, a cynical Baton Rouge TV newscaster learns the true meaning of a Cajun Christmas when visited by three Zydeco playing ghosts from the Bayou.
on December 20th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
WE THREE KINGS
Three wise men set out across a treacherous landscape with gifts to please a newly born King, against the wishes of the savage King Herod. (Three Kings)
on December 20th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
MONTY PYTHON AND THE THREE KINGS
Three insecure wise men backpack across the unpredictable Middle-Eastern landscape to attend a baby’s birthday if only to present their odd gifts and find favor with the possible future King. (MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL)
on December 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
CHRISTRIX
After a charismatic young prophet eats the red pill, he wakes up in a defiled manger near foster father “Jopheus”, who will explain the reality of a world run by vicious kings. (Matrix)
on February 28th, 2010 at 9:07 am
Ho Ho Holloween
The night he came down the chimney
Santa returns to Haddonfield to retrieve the the 12 piece set of Henkel’s he put under the tree for Michael thinking it was the actor Mike Myers by mistake.
(i know it’s too late but fun anyway)