Blake Snyder

This was movie weekend for me! And wasn’t I glad to be back at the Octoplex!

Early on, that’s how I spent most weekends: seeing lots of movies. I’d go downtown on Saturday early, stay all day, check out three, four, five films (plus the trailers), and even “interview” other moviegoers during the breaks just to see if they saw what I saw.

I recommend this still. Not many careers offer the ability to meet the target market so easily.

If there’s one thing we can do to get better at this it’s: Know thy audience! 

This weekend I saw only two movies (lazybones that I am): Ironman and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Liked ‘em both! And throughout both, as is my habit nowadays, all I kept thinking was: there’s-the-fun-and-games-there’s-the-midpoint-there’s-the-all-is-lost-a-ha! Third-Act-Synthesis — nice! 

It’s an occupational hazard. But a fun one!

And very edifying!

The 15 beats of the BS2 can easily be found in both these films. And Ironman (the #1 film two weekends in a row) clearly hits every beat (spoiler alert!). I particularly loved the Midpoint of Ironman  which covered pretty much everything identified in Save the Cat! including: a midpoint party scene,  ”false victory” of Robert Downey Jr. (great in this!) successfully flying around LA in the scene just before, near kiss with Gwyneth Paltrow (A and B story cross), plus a “raise the stakes” reveal of Jeff Bridges as the “bad guy” with Bad Guys Close In, and the All Is Lost “whiff of death” (Downey actually dies and comes back in this particular page 75) close at hand.

These very same beats can be found in Sarah Marshall.  

They can be found in all successful stories be they Indie, big tentpole movie, or featurette.

The big difference I saw this weekend however was… more scenes! The pace in each of these films is faster than I’ve ever noticed, with more half-scenes, mini-scenes, flashbacks, cut to’s, cutaways, and point-of-view shifts than any movie I can point to of late.

If you don’t think the pacing of movies has changed, and can evolve still more,  take a look at the languid rollout of most movies pre-1990. Audiences steeped in cinema, and ahead of us screenwriters, get it! Faster, slicker, and quicker than before.

And as the writers of said films, we must adapt.

And yet! 

The most human, poignant moments from both these films are what each story is really about  – and the moments that make each work. Sarah Marshall was especially successful, and in every way broke our pre-conceived notions of stereotype. I really recommend this film as an example of “the same thing only different”; it’s so like the movie 10, starring Dudley Moore, and yet brand new.

The structure for these “speeded-up movies” remains the same, and the requirements of each section of the beat sheet is, too.  

But I’d be curious how you are dealing with the issue of pace in your scripts. Do you find the need to move it along? Do you find any explanation to be over-explanation? And what special new tricks do you find help break the rules in a way that “gives us the same thing, only different?”

p.s. We had some great news today: this article in the L.A. Times. I’d like to personally thank writer Jay Fernandez, Anne Lower of Final Draft, and of course Peter Cook and the kids at Camino Nuevo Charter School for their outstanding efforts in making this outreach a great success! 

Let me start with a big thank you to everyone who has made this site so vibrant. I’ve seen the “hits” report for last month and our numbers are growing rapidly, but the quality of the input from you and the inspired wisdom you contribute to this site is its true outstanding feature.

Take Monday’s post for example…

I am really pleased with the response to my request for your pitches. Look at those beauties and tell me those aren’t spot-on perfect in their form and function. Concise. Evocative. Poppin’! That is one awesome bunch of creativity, and if you want to be inspired, or want to pitch your logline, please go to the blog titled “4 x 4 x 4″ and add your brilliance to the list.  

Also, I continue to get submissions for screenplays about “true stories of inspiring women” and again, my thanks.  Occasionally an opportunity comes up like this and it is my privilege to help. No, I am not commissioned nor do I receive a finder’s fee or any credit for passing along your scripts. It is my honor to help both you the writer, and those who request material from me. It is what we do! Though not every pitch qualifies, I have forwarded every logline to my producer pal who has taken two scripts to read so far. If you have a true story of an inspiring, notorious, or historically overlooked and amazing woman, please forward me the logline directly at bsnyder264@aol.com and I will make sure it gets into the right hands.

In other news, I am really pleased to announce the media and appearances I will be doing this month, all thanks to Carol Eisner, Cat! publicist extraordinaire, who can be reached at carol@eisnerpr.com:

– In addition to speaking, via phone, to Lisa Ford’s NYU screenwriting class on May 13, I will be interviewed on the MovieGeeks.com website radio show on May 21 at 7 p.m. and I am told the listeners will be included with their questions this time. Love MovieGeeks!

–I will also be doing an interview with Maria Sanchez on KVTA AM-1520 on the afternoon of May 14 about the upcoming summer movies. Love talking to Maria anytime… about anything! She is so great!

– But the big news is I was just interviewed by writer Robin Mizell for a special feature in the 2009 Writers Digest Screenwriters and Playwrights source book out this December. As part of that wonderful opportunity, I will be the luncheon speaker at the BookExpo America / Writers Digest Book Writer’s Conference on May 28 here in Los Angeles and signing books afterward. I am truly honored and really looking forward to that event.

–  Finally, we will be having a Beats Workshop next weekend here in L.A. (although it’s filling up fast) and one has been set for Seattle July 26-27.  If you’d like me to come to your city, or make an appearance via phone for your screenwriting class, please lobby the keeper of the schedule: Rich Kaplan at rich@blakesnyder.com.

On a separate note, I would like to congratulate Tanya Tull on this, the 20th Anniversary of her organization, Beyond Shelter. This outstanding and tireless non-profit has helped thousands of homeless families move back into permanent housing in residential neighborhoods throughout Los Angeles county — and her “housing first” philosophy and its tactics have been accepted and put into action by communities and organizations across the U.S. Tonight I will so very pleased to attend the celebration of the service Tanya provides and be one of hundreds on hand to honor her achievement. Tanya is the wife of my friend and partner, B.J. Markel, and we have all been blessed to be able to use Tanya’s offices for our weekend workshops, but I am fortunate mostly that she is my friend. Please go to Tanya’s site at www.beyondshelter.org and let her know we are grateful for her service and generosity.  And congratulations to everyone at Beyond Shelter.

Well done!

The past Sunday’s L.A. Times had a special section devoted to all the movies that are coming to theaters in the next three months, and a list of sure-fire loglines that go with them! It’s a great preview of what we can expect and a really great job by the Times.

Anytime I read a good logline, I start to think of my own pitches and my own movies I’m creating.

And I get excited!  

I want to play, too! That’s the thought that comes to mind when I see what other movies are on tap. (I have this same reaction at the Coming Attractions — the best part of going to the movies.) It revs my creative engines thinking of how I can concoct a logline as good or better than what’s “Coming Soon.”

Like the loglines I read in the Times this Sunday,  those that grab me follow the rules we discuss in Save the Cat!  Funny, but it works every time!

The basic components that must be included in a successful logline are:

- A type of protagonist (meaning adjective-hero)

- A type of antagonist (meaning adjective-opposing force)

- A conflict (and it better be sparking!) and

- An open-ended question (what will happen?)

I also added further spice to this basic need by requesting four more components:

- A sense of irony (that’s what a “hook” really is)

- A compelling mental image ( I always say that “A good movie pitch is like dropping a flare into a diamond mine; when you say it, my mind bursts with ideas, drama, and images that dazzle)

- Audience and cost (Who is this for? Does it make economic sense?)

- A killer title! (Please don’t pitch anything called Redemption or For Love or Money!)

Believe it or not, I have four new guidelines that I will be writing about in Save the Cat! Strikes Back and previewing in my talk at Great American Pitchfest in June here in Los Angeles. That’s right. More secret weapons– more ways to fine tune your logline writing skills, that’s what we’re about!

I hope to have this 4 x 4 x 4 (4 basic logline needs x 4 enhancements x 4 superchargers) as part of our Beat Sheet class as well. The Beats Weekend is proving to be legendary for writers who come in with an idea and walk out with a solid 15-point outline that weekend. How do we do it? (Amazingly well, thank you very much.) And the logline writing skills we teach are a huge part of what makes those weekends sing.

Meantime… shall you… dare you? I’d like to hear pitches from those brave souls who’d like to match wits with the amazingly diverse and exciting summer slate coming our way.  Please use the Comments section to briefly pitch your best idea and let’s see that fastball, slider, and curveball with a little pepper on it.

We’re in the shank of the Golden Age of creativity at the movies! Be it a summer tentpole movie, quirky Indie, or homemade doc, there are more opportunities out there for us now than ever before.

Let’s play, too!

It’s starting. 

I saw a billboard the other day and it had two lines:

Indy

May 22 

And I have to admit, I got “that summer tickle.”  It’s the feeling I get every year around this time thinking about the dark cool caverns I will sit in with my popcorn, and the dazzling display of something amazing that will take me away from it all. I love the big summer movies, and still think of the time I first saw Star Wars.

And Batman.

And Independence Day.

And the lines around the block for each that is a summer tradition I love.

I have no idea what will happen in the fourth installment of Indiana Jones, but I will line up to see it with everyone else. That, and a lot of other movies this summer. In and among the mix are a bunch of sequels: Mummy, Hellboy, X-Files, Dark Knight, and a few re-do’s (didn’t we already see The Hulk?) And some wingnut comedies like Zohan with Adam Sandler and funny fare from Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell.

What’s missing?

Two things in my opinion:

1. I believe that after the writer’s strike and the actor’s strike (pending) and what with all the low energy of the current economic turndown, Hollywood should launch a campaign to remind everyone what an amazing job it does. Seriously. I know we are entertained to death, and it’s really hard to jar people away from their Playstations and computers, but movies still play a big role in shaping our world. Movies are one of our biggest exports, and most important influences.  

We do it better than anyone in the world. So where’s the pride? There needs to be some kind of Hollywood cheerleader/spokesman (James Cameron? Steven Spielberg?) who can rouse the passions of moviemakers, and remind everyone of our accomplishments. I still think the worst thing that ever happened to movies was the weekly listing of the box office winners in the newspaper, when in fact the spirit of the “dream factory” must rise above that. This leads me to…

2. More showmen! Cool corporate has got to give way to wild dreamers…. and more risk! More “I know this may sound crazy but…” is required. The one problem in the line-up of movies this summer, and movies generally is, it’s all a little too safe. And the default mentality of the filmmaking community is generally negative. (I still can’t shake Jon Stewart’s remark at this year’s Oscars about what downers all the nominated films were — he’s right!)  I don’t run into enough people who are willing to try something positively outrageous — and outrageously positive. And that’s too bad. I want to have more people in the industry who are less concerned with the bottom line, and more concerned with “This will knock their socks off!” 

That “summer tickle” is a priviledge, not a right. It’s earned… and can go away if we’re not careful. Are movies still our “best entertainment value” — or are we more concerned with other things?

Me? I’m the firehouse dog. The bell rings, I’m on the truck.  I will be lined up to see what happens next in the Indiana Jones saga on May 22. Love Harrison Ford, love Steven Spielberg, love the dream.

What’s got you excited about the movies, especially this summer’s fare? Is there anything on the horizon that’s a “must-see” for you? And what is your remedy for reinvigorating Hollywood? I’d love to know.

What a great weekend!

This past Saturday and Sunday, I was on hand at the Save the Cat! booth at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books at UCLA, along with one of my business partners, BJ Markel, and our brilliant script analyst, Jose Silerio — and I was overwhelmed by how many people stopped by to say “hi!”

Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need is the # 1 bestselling book on screenwriting on Amazon, and coming in at #4 is the sequel, Save the Cat! Goes to the Movies.  We are outselling every other book on screenwriting and storytelling, and I am the only author with two books in the Top Ten on any given day.

All thanks to you!

You are the one who reads and loves Save the Cat! and passes it on to a friend! You are the one who, like so many people I met this weekend, didn’t “get it” until you read Cat! — and now have been freed to write with greater focus and success!

And I got a chance to meet a lot of you this weekend, and to catch up with old friends who stopped by, too. 

More photos etc. will be shown in this Wednesday’s News section. (Just so you know, I post a blog every Monday and Thursday, and we post a News article every Wednesday, so be sure to keep checking in for fresh stuff all week!)

Sharing booth space with us was Anne Lower of Final Draft and our pals at the Writers Store including Dana, Mario, Sam, John and the rest of their top-notch team.

We also saw Signe Olynyk, founder of Great American Pitchfest (where I will be speaking in June), and Julie Gray of The Script Department, who tells me that the contest to “meet with Blake Snyder” is overwhelmed with entries —  I am looking forward to getting together with the winner.

I also got to meet Paula Berinstein whose interview with me on her site, Writers Show, continues to be my favorite. We will be doing more with Paula soon.

One of the topics that comes up when film fans get together is obscure movie trivia. (Yes, you can still come to me and ask what movie Jackie Gleason and Tom Hanks were in and I will be able to tell you!  I can also tell you what scene and episode of Gilligan’s Island we are watching if you hum the incidental music– yes, it’s a curse, not a gift!)

But the other subject that raised heated debate is the question: What are the three most important movies of the past 40 years? Not best, or most artistic, but important in terms of how they changed the industry?

After batting it around, our choice came down to this:

1. Jaws. In essence, this is the movie that started the “blockbuster” trend that is still with us. Believe it or not, the “huge” opening Jaws had was in just over 1000 theaters, miniscule by today’s standard, but at the time, a paradigm shift that became the basis of the business model we still follow.

2. Pulp Fiction. The clarion cry of the independent movie that bloomed in the ’90s and made stars not just of director Quentin Tarantino, but Miramax and the Weinstein brothers who bet big and won.

3. The Blair Witch Project. Not a great movie by any stretch (and where is that girl and her flaring nostrils?), but it was the first Internet-driven hit that also said: a film doesn’t have to look good to make $100 million at the box office. 

Agree or disagree? If you were in on this topic, what three films would you deem the “Most Important.”

And next year, I hope to see all of you at the Save the Cat! booth at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books (where I will be signing copies of book #3, Save the Cat! Strikes Back), so we can have this discussion in person!

I’m a big believer in positivity.

(I know this surprises you!)

But I think without some clear cut basics, we cannot attain our goals no matter what our goals may be.

My turn in screenwriting came during the 1988 Writer’s Strike. After struggling to get into the WGA, the strike, and lack of non-scab work, sent me back to my hometown. It was just 90 miles away from L.A. but far enough to feel like I’d been exiled to another world. I’d had mixed success in writing. My scripts were all over the place. I had “experimented” with what might now be called the YouTube route by making my own video with friends called The Blank Show.  

And my writing partner at the time and I had written our brains out, churning out script after script. But our high water mark was writing — and seeing produced! — the first interactive movie ever, called Police Academy 4.5, an amazing experience where I met my buddy Phil Goldfine and Paul Maslanzky, both inspiring figures.

Otherwise I had very little to show for all my hard work.

When my father passed away that year, and the strike ended, I decided this was it. Do or die. I was very broke. But with help from another good pal, producer Tommy Lynch, who hired me to write a number of Kids Incorporated episodes, I kept body and soul together. And I had a vision!

I got a desk and an office for cheap in downtown Santa Barbara; I lived on $900 per month; and for some reason I got index cards upon one of which I wrote my goals:

“I have sold a million dollar screenplay. I have a three picture deal. I have an office on the lot.”

At the time, this was insane. I had no idea how to do these things. I think at that point, I had an agent, but because of my lack of saleability, she was just someone to touch base with occasionally.

I had another index card.  Upon this I wrote: “DISCIPLINE - FOCUS - POSITIVE ENERGY”

This, it seemed to me, was a winning triumverate.  But I was making this up as I went, so what did I know?

Discipline meant that I would rigourosly work hard every day and meet daily goals. Focus meant I would direct my efforts toward one goal: selling a script. And Positive Energy meant to me, that no matter what the results of my efforts or the day, what the news was, or how the pitch went, I would see only the good. 

I become Mr. Glass Half Full.

Within four years I had attained all those goals. It was one day while unpacking my stuff, after moving back to L.A. and into an office on the Disney lot, that I found those cards. Amazing! I thought. How clear I had been and how clearly I had achieved each one. 

This from a guy who at the time I wrote those out, had to scramble to find change in the cushions of the couch to buy a cup of gourmet coffee once a week — my big treat!

What audacity!

I think those opportunities are there for all of us. And as we look out on the landscape, the more specific we can be, the better. When we target our careers and our scripts, we see a vision that becomes the truth, so it’s important to pick well.

And dream big.

What is your discipline? What is your focus?  What is your mental outlook? 

Mine is posted up on my computer this morning.  Brand new. Let’s see if vision will meet opportunity… again!

p.s. And speaking of opportunity, as a favor to a producer friend, I am helping him look for original screenplays that are best described as “true stories of inspiring women,” not set in any period prior to the 1950’s, that are finished scripts with no attachments. If you have anything in your quiver that meets this requirement, please contact me at my personal email: bsnyder264@aol.com. Have a great writing day!

I am deep into writing my third Cat! book, titled Save the Cat! Strikes Back. This is the “troubleshooting” Cat! — the one with the most information for fixing any aspect of your script… or career! Writing Cat! 3 also gives me a chance to add what I’ve learned teaching the Cat! method in the past three years, and for that I am ever grateful — because I keep learning new tricks every time I stand in front of a writer’s group and give a talk.

I was in Vancouver this weekend for a quick one-day event and wow! what a great bunch of writers. I feel like we finally have the beginnings of a “hit ‘em again harder” Cat! writer’s group in B.C. that will get in there and fight to make their scripts the best. I will be posting more details about who will be running the group and how to contact them. Meantime, my thanks to Vancouver’s best education source for creators of all kinds, Biz Books, and their own Cat! for putting together such a great event.

One of the things we discussed this weekend is the most basic need in good story craft, and one I am right in the middle of writing about in STC! 3 — namely, finding the “spine” of the story. And once again, by talking about it, I learned something new Saturday.

In the first Save the Cat! I propose that every good tale hits the 15 beats of my beat sheet, the infamous BS2! But I now propose further that Step One of any story breaking adventure must begin with only three of those points: The Opening Image, The Final Image, and The Midpoint.

These three points block out what your story will be.

How does this movie begin and how does it end? That’s the key to finding the Opening Image and the Final Image. It’s what I call “snipping the ends” of the story… and it couldn’t be more vital. After coming up with the idea and logline for your script, answering this question is the next step.

In the beginnning of Liar Liar, Jim Carrey is a liar; by the end he’s not. What happened? In the Opening Image of Sleepless in Seattle Tom Hanks and his son are burying his dead wife; in the Final Image, Tom and his son walk off with Meg Ryan. Wow! Something big went on there, a complete reversal! This drastic change, these opposites MUST be huge, upside down, night and day differences. It’s a difference that we need as an audience to be in there — otherwise why invest in the hero’s journey?

As to the Midpoint, this continues to be the nerve center of any script for me, with more and more “things” adding to its mystique. If you can crack the Midpoint, you’ve cracked the story. Just look at all the things that happen there: It’s where there’s either a “false victory” or a “false defeat”; it’s where the “stakes are raised” and “time clocks” appear; it’s where the Bad Guys learn the Good Guy’s secret (Die Hard) or his whereabouts (Witness, E.T.); it’s where the boy and girl kiss for the first time (Sex at 60!); where big parties and events announce the hero getting “everything he thought he wanted” (Bruce Almighty) or in the event of a “false defeat,” take that same totality away (Legally Blonde — remember Elle Woods in her bunny ears?)

And it is EVER thus: be it indie, big budget blockbuster or sitcom — crack the midpoint, crack the story.

Those three points constitute the “spine” and must be addressed first. On Saturday I realized that this is something we will likely add to our software, too. Perhaps it is a three-point beat sheet that precedes the 15 Beats, yet one more failsafe to stop writers from moving on until they vet the way they are creating their story. After coming up with the killer idea, breaking out these three points guarantees success.

I can’t wait to continue sharing ideas in the Cat! books to come. Everywhere I go to bring this easy method to writers who want to win in this, the greatest time ever to be a writer with a vision! With more opportunity than has ever been available before, how can we fail?!

So long as we keep on our mission — good stories, well told — we too will win every time.

One of my favorite early morning rituals is waking up, making coffee, and listening to KFI-AM’s “Handel on the News,” a local radio staple here in Los Angeles. From 6:00-7:00 each morning, the irrepressable  host and his crew give a humorous take on the headlines as we bleary-eyed early risers come to. Their raucous and un-pc jokes are jaw-dropping so early every morning. But what I really tune in for is the musical lead-ins to each news story. Why? Because the musical bumpers and bridges are witty counterpoint in itself.  

A story about a priest abuse case is led into with Connie Francis singing “Where the Boys Are” and any item about Governor Schwarzenegger inevitably is trumpeted by “Springtime for Hitler” from The Producers.

It reminds me of the way Paul Schaeffer on David Letterman’s show can be scathingly funny in his walk-on music for guests.  And in some cases, like the torreador march that still introduces comedian Don Rickles, it is a signature song that perfectly “says what it is” — Rickles is the matador, you are the bull.

The guy who used to have the job of picking these musical bullets on “Handel on the News” retired last month and the tryouts to replace him have been tough to listen to.  Not everyone has the musical knowledge to pull from, plus the wit to be thoughtful and not ham-handed in their choices.  It’s tempting to use “Leaving on a Jet Plane” for a story about airport delays, but not as funny as “Anticipation.”

The skill is in picking musical bumpers that don’t hit you over the head, but make you laugh as you realize “That was witty!”

I bring this up, believe it or not, as a means of discussing something screenwriters ask me about all the time, namely, how to come up with a title for your movie! Because word play is what it’s all about.

In my book, Save the Cat!, I talk about the importance of the title, and how a good one can increase your odds of success.  I note that a good title isn’t blunt or “on the nose,” meaning if you have a movie that is about redemption, don’t call it Redemption. There is also the vague title, like 2005’s The Island which, I’m convinced, hurt ticket sales. (Are there castaways? Is Dr. Moreau involved?) And the curse of being too general in your title leads to my least favorite title of all time, For Love or Money, which has been used three times in movie history and I can’t tell you the story of any version. It’s so general, you could use it for any movie: Gone with the Wind = For Love or Money, The Godfather = For Love or Money.  

See what I mean?

In my career, my favorite titles that I’ve come up with have been just… “off the nose.”  Colby Carr and I found a great one for our “plumb and plumber” comedy, Drips, that we sold to Disney. I sometimes have even started with the title and built the story to match as we did with Nuclear Family that sold to Amblin.  Like a good movie idea, often there is no rhyme or reason for how we know we got one!  We just know.  

What are your favorite titles from the movies or from your own career that show wit, le mot just, or just plain brilliance in figuring out what to call the damn thing? And what is your approach to The Title?

And if you have any musical lead-in picking skills, they’re still holding tryouts at KFI. Please do!

Story is the most powerful tool any communicator can wield.

During this election year, we’ll be bombarded with story in everything from the biographies of the candidates (and their “Save the Cat!” moments) to the testimonials they use to make a point statistics can’t.

And the simple “Before” and “After” of a Jenny Craig ad shows how we are drawn to anything that “transforms.” When we begin this story, the hero was one way — now he’s another way.

What happened?

As writers we are experts in the field of story, so like the superheroes we are, whenever there is a problem that needs to be explained, you can and should call on us. 

Storytellers to the rescue!

Take the recent article I read in the Los Angeles Times about a group of writing students at the University of Alabama who took on the problem of how to inform the public about the dangers of diabetes.

While patients suffering from the disease knew all about it, they often did not follow the exercise and dieting regime they needed to live better and more satisfying lives. So instead of another expensive information campaign, something new was tried.

Radio audiences can now tune in to BodyLove, created by public-health professor Connie Kohler, to hear the continuing saga of two families dealing with diabetes. The weekly 15-minute drama Connie and her writers pull from actual case studies is so riveting, it has become a popular staple for those affected and even those not. 

But the biggest impact is on those who have changed their lives thanks to what the characters on their favorite serial do. Many times, the show’s characters give into temptation to overeat or eat poorly, and the audience identifies. But more often than not, when a character on the show breaks from the habit of drinking sugary soda and embracing a daily exercise program, so do the listeners!

By telling a story that resonates, lives are being saved.

Applying story to the problem of telling hard, cold facts and dramatizing things that are seemingly “dry” topics is one I am familiar with thanks to my father’s work in children’s educational televison. Educators know full well the impact that Sesame Street has had on learning, one of many shows my Dad helped produce, and others like Big Blue Marble showed stories of kids around the world to improve not only our sense of geography but humanity.  ”Edu-tainment” became the buzzword at our house — if you could entertain while learning, the lesson stuck.

Knowing storytelling tools can supercharge the lesson.  And the writer’s expertise when it comes to meeting and identifying heroes, and sending them on an adventure we can understand and root for, is powerful.  

We can look for many opportunities to serve that aren’t just making big-ticket spec screenplay sales. Story is story, and our skills in the world’s most important tradition can be applied to any number of situations.

If you have an idea to use story to solve a problem, let’s hear it. What are some radical ways storytelling can be applied to a problem?

And if you have a program that you want to get off the ground, and need writers to help you, I have a whole long list of brilliant, creative, and dedicated steely pros ready to be called.

We are ready with sharpened pencils — just waiting for the Bat signal! 

I am ever on the lookout for new ideas to turn into highly lucrative screenwritage.

I have my little notebook. I jot down ideas. I posit all manner of big-budget “What if’s…”

So what happens when real life starts trumping my imagination?

I am cruising the net the other day and there it is, the headline that ate my brain:

“Woman Gets 16 Year Old’s Heart, Starts Acting Like A Teenager”

The story went on to describe just that. Somewhere in England (a lot of these stories tend to come from England) a woman got a heart transplant. The donor was a teenager. And now the woman can’t stop eating pizza, finds herself texting her friends (OMG!), and presumably spends a lot of time laying on the couch, watching TV, and saying “There’s nothing to doooooo…”

What a great idea for a movie I thought, then realized, I’m too late!

The other transplant story I read lately had to do with a woman whose husband committed suicide. His heart was transplanted to a second man, who met and married the woman… and if that weren’t enough, wound up committing suicide himself, begging the question: Is it the heart or the wife that’s the problem?

And then, of course, there is the pregnant man who went on Oprah last week. Wait, wait… didn’t I see this movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, or is it all just a bad dream?

Real life is getting weirder than anything we can make up.

It’s like God is being pitched ideas by a couple of screenwriters bouncing off the walls of his holy offices saying, “Wait, Chief, it gets better!”

And by the way, yes, the screenwriters’ names are Eddie and Budd (with two d’s).

William Goldman, in his book Adventures in the Screen Trade, describes these as “movie moments” — those impossible situations and episodes that occur in real life when we feel like we’re living in a movie. Goldman describes one such incident while on the production of Stepford Wives when he snapped on the radio only to hear a news report that punctuated a conversation he was having, at which point he turned to his companion and said: “Movie moment.”

It was supposed to point out how movies often don’t jibe with life, how we allow the “suspension of disbelief” (whatever that means) so that we can get back to the dream that is our movie experience. We screenwriters are adept at massaging this to make sure we don’t lose audiences. But given what sometimes really happens, why bother? Whoever’s writing this stuff that’s really happening has not been paying attention to the rules, and still we’re buying it. We have to!

It’s real life.

Perhaps this can spill over into extra work for screenwriters. While we can’t necessarily get an appointment with God to pitch stuff (he is way over budget on so many other projects for fall), we can perhaps get in and pitch to the Pentagon.

“What if satellite falls out of the sky and we have to shoot it down with a missle?”

Did that.

“Okay, okay, what if we call the program Star Wars, like the movie?”

No?

The overlap between the movies and real life threatens to put us all out work. But for me I will continue to try to come up with ideas. You never know, I might come up with something really good.

I just hope real life doesn’t beat me to it!